Ramblings of a 34B cup...

CHIT-CHATTING ABOUT ALL THE THINGS YOU COULD CARE LESS ABOUT...
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Tuesday, April 15, 2008

S.O.S.! (save our souls-I mean soles)

So I hinted at the topic yesterday and today I am ready to just get it out in the open and talk about it. As you know I am thinking about all things spring/summer lately and my tootsies are NOT prepared. Ya know when people have housekeepers (if this is you-you suck) and they pre-clean before the cleaning lady comes so he/she won't know how bombed out the house really is? This is exactly the sort of situation I am in except I have to clean my own toilets and we are talking feet here (keep up with me would ya). There is no way in H-E-double hockey sticks that I would dare show my feet to any trained professional in their current state. I wouldn't even consider going to HOT Nails or Turbo Nails or HOT Turbo Nails let alone some fancy-shmancy spa. I have ALOT of work to do before I am letting anyone get up (or down I guess it is) in my business. Running may be good for the ole ticker and may whiddle the middle but it's not doin' my feet any favors. I gotta get rid of the cracks in my heels, the calluses on the underside of my toes and buff and shine my nails before any polish will even consider adhering to them. If this isn't enough to make you gag I'm not sure what is. So anyway I am on a mission to find the latest beauty secret revealed in my recent copy of Lucky. Sally Hansen claims to have it all figured out with the La Cross Foot Smoothing Disc. In fact it is so sought after she doesn't even have it on her website, (probably not a good sign) but she eludes to this magical tool being available for $6 at drugstores. The second I publish this post I am heading to Target in search of this mystery piece of beauty paraphernalia that promises 1 week to perfect feet and toes. I'm looking for a miracle here... I'll keep ya posted.

PS IF ANYONE EVER takes a photo of me at the same angle as this unknown couple (circa 1936) and puts it on the internet for everyone to see I will hunt you down...

Now that we have that all cleared up-bring your perfectly polished little piggies back tomorrow for the inside scoop aboard the MG 784.

4 comments:

hot4teechr said...

I know someone that went to a fancy schmancy place and actually got her feet ridiculed!! My suggestion? Go to one of the asian places, if they DO make fun of your feet at least you won't understand them!

Fab Over 40 said...

Oh just go anyway and get them buffed and shined. My theory is, they've seen worse! Which maybe they haven't but in my mind I keep telling myself they have!

Disgruntled Princess said...

My foot phobia makes it impossible for me to touch even my OWN feet...I'm with hot4teecher and I just laugh along with the cute little ladies and nod my head...hoping that they are not asking for something inappropriate!

future butterfly said...

I have The Disk. Saw it in Lucky and had to go right out and find it. I think it's even better than JG-J said it is!