Ramblings of a 34B cup...

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Thursday, May 29, 2008

Yo Rocky, move ovah...

Some days a workout is painful. Whatever the ailment, physical or mental, it stares you in the face and then spits a big loogey in your eye, socks ya right in the gut, elbows ya square in the kidney, and jabs directly in the center of the B (or C, D, E (bi-atches) etc) cups (or sackage depending on gender). It's tough, you're dog tired, each leg weighs a metric ton. You start to sing a cadence in your head, "my drill sargent's so damn mean," and then your imaginary troops echo, "my drill sargent's...you get it, "took a piss in my canteen," "sound off one, two, sound off three, four." You take a deep breath, give yourself the internal pep talk, wipe the sweat from your brow, and then... somehow, someway you dig deep and forge ahead knowing that in the end you'll feel and look better because of it.

Then you have the days of glory! All systems are go! Feeling lean, and strong and fit your body strides with the perfect bio mechanics. You dare that skinny broad on the trail ahead of you to pick up the pace, b/c your about to blow her doors off (I don't really even know what that means...) In stereo Eye of the Tiger is your theme song, "yo Rocky, it's all me today." Today I had one of these days. How can you not when you have the opportunity to run from downtown Manhattan (Tribeca) to Brooklyn, courtesy of the historic Brooklyn Bridge? Never mind the energy required to put one foot in front of the other when you have scenery like this to keep you occupied. Crossing the 1883 suspension style bridge is about 2 miles round trip. If you are in the mood for a little more cardio jog around City Hall and the City Hall Park for more fab scenery. Today, the endorphins were flowing (or maybe it was all the exhaust/smog I was breathing) and I looked over my shoulder to see this old gal (she looks kinda tiny in the photo). Is she a good lookin' lady or what? And yes, if you must know I most certainly did run today with my camera in my sweaty palm... don't say I never do anything for you. Anyway, hugs and kisses from the big apple (especially to my cute hubby and Miss Kato).

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Sowing all sorts of seeds...

I am STILL trying to pry the dirt from cuticle beds, but I wouldn't have it any other way. We spent the better part of a day with a dear old friend, whom Jerrid and I adore. This is one of the coolest, most sincere, greatest gals I know. Ellen, has been a dear friend since back in the town house days of "15645G, as in great." How we ever got lucky enough to move into a hood with her right across the street I will never know. Many a days were spent in our shared driveways resolving the problems of the world (and mostly gossiping about our other neighbors). Our friendship sort formed from a titch of bitter and tad of sweet. Our neighborhood was full of people who looked like the pets they walked or in some cases the pets that walked them. Doggie sees as doggie does and it sealed the deal... we adopted Miss Kato. After we brought that green eyed, fluffy little ball of brown fuzz home we noticed we didn't see much of Ellen and her perfectly buffed cocker spaniel, Sport. We didn't know... Sport had gone to chase the rabbits and eat bones in the sky. When I found out I stuffed Miss Kato into Ellen's arms and said "here get your puppy fill." AND when I almost quit my job because I wanted to stay home with my dog (I wish I were kidding) she came over and loved Miss Kato (and Miss Kato Sport of Ashburne, formally named after Sport, loved her right back). Anyway, good friends always have a way of connecting and picking up right where ever things left off. So, what was my point? Gardening, oh right... Ellen has this great house on a great piece of property with an amazing yard that would make any dog "the cats meow." We decided time to put all that black dirt to good use. So first we marked off the perfectly measured and staked off rows (what did you expect when my hubby was along?). Then we turned the earth the old fashioned way-with a little elbow grease while Zoom sought out some shade, and Foster (named b/c he was originally going to be a foster dog-yah right) shared in my hubby's coffee break. Then the fun begins. We planted tomatoes, more varieties of peppers than I can count, onions, honeydew, cantaloupe, pumpkins, soybeans, green beans, peas, rosemary, basil, chocolate mint, lavender, chives, corn, rhubarb, cucumbers, carrots and well, I am certain I have forgotten something (and that was only half of the garden)! So 7-10 days-ish for germination on most and 50-60 some odd days till maturity, then keep your eyes peeled for the 3 and the fancy-schmancy Lexus on the side of Hwy 12 selling our home grown veges (we hope). Ellen thanks for a most perfect Spring! Here's to our future harvest-FFA (Future Farmers of America for all you city slickers) look out!

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Stay Tuned...

Hi-ya all my Tuesday feels like a Monday blogging pals. I know you are thinking I am slacking. Left you out of the loop. Playing you like second fiddle. Listen, just stay tuned. It's been a great, gloriously long, 4 day weekend and I have lots to report... just not right now. The B cups need sleep... Go on now. Just don't forget to come back tomorrow for a lesson in horticulture (or something like that).

Hope you had a great, safe weekend (and your hangover has finally subsided).

Friday, May 23, 2008

It's Fashion Friday: Tie One On

It's Friday people. Ya'll should be rejoicing in the fact it is a long weekend (4 days for me!). What better way to kick start the weekend than Fashion Friday. Let's run with it shall we?

Spring is great don't get me wrong, but it does pose certain wardrobe challenges. Too chilly in the morning when you leave home for full summer gear, but too temperate in the afternoons to still sport winter garbs. I know, I know enough to drive anyone nug-ing futs. Here's how you handle this fashion dilemma. Scale your outfit back to the basics. A great fitted tee with a fun, scarf (not the winter kind) strategically tied around your neck (I'm not talking John Wayne style either). Are you following me? Ok then, how about with a simple tank? Maybe you're in the mood for a lil' longer style sash-e-poo. Do as Ashley does. Or as Paula does (even though she bugs sometimes). What Pucci says I obey. Wrap a skinny scarf around waist for an insta-belt. I have a great scarf tied on the handle of my handbag (or suitcase as Woody calls it). It's simple, easy and almost as much fun as a Chia Pet. And that my friends, is a wrap!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

About time... Whiter and Brighter B Cup?!?

Teeth. They are sort of a big deal. It's always in ones best interest to make sure you have a full set of em (hockey players and thugs this goes for you too)(I know I have lots of fanatical hockey players and thugs who tune in everyday). As an adult you only have one shot to keep those "buckeys" (as my dad calls them) in tip-top shape before you start buying Polident in bulk. You must do as I say people-let me be an example of how things can go arye. It's no secret I don't love the dentist. Even though Dr. Bruce might be a silver stallion, I could go without him diggin' around in my business. But none the less I am a good little solider, and I go and see him twice a year for a hearty, cleaning and his stamp of approval (if we're being honest it helps he's a hottie-mc-hotter-ton). At one point a couple years ago I had a little tooth ache (sort of came and went) and so I just kept wishing and hoping it would go away on its own. Sooo not the case. I was left with a full blown tooth ache and by the time the silver stallion galloped into the picture he was armed with a drill... you guessed it... ROOT CANAL. reeet, reeet, reeet, reeet!!! (my best attempt at horror music via the blog). Gosh I felt like a dirt ball. Now my friends, I am more die hard than ever on care of the old chiklets. Yes, I brush twice a day (just like anyone without hygenic challenges), floss every chance I get (I wish I could say it was daily), AND a bi-yearly rendevous' with Doc Bruce (on the top dentist list in Mpls/StPaul every year). My most favorite part of the regimin is whitening. I love em as bright and as white as you can get em (without being floursescent). My tried and true go to has always been Crest White Strips, but curiousity got the best of me and I recently tried Rembrant 2 hour whitening kit. Pretty cool how you make a custom mold to fit your pie hole and the magic goop goes right inside. 20 minutes on, 10 off, 20 minutes on, 10 off, and so on for the 2 hours. Noticable results? Hmmmm you be the judge next time you see me (click here for the before).

It's almost Friday!

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Girls night in

By many accounts I consider myself pretty lucky. Not like win the powerball lucky (they say "money doesn't buy happiness," but I would love to give it the old college try), but more lucky in love/friendships/family kind-of-lucky. I am really fortunate to have these great friends and groups of great friends who for some reason put up with me. Take for example all my high school chick-a's who knew me back in my V-Scoy days. Back in the long hair (real this time), cut-off-too-short-pockets-hangin'-out Girbaud jeans, Doc Martin sandal, Maybelline (very, very black) mascara, boy drama, Busch Light drinkin' (I know) days. Heck, one of those gals went to school with me from kindergarten at Howard Hedger on through CHS graduation (we know all sorts of secrets about each other, right Jami?). Then I have the crew I met in college who really have the inside scoop on what makes me tick (scary). These are back to the days of Gamma Phi Beta, Balzerzak Drive, a slowly shorter and shorter haircut, Abercrombie wearing, Wet N Wild lip liner, more boy drama, Bacardi Limon-Diet Coke drinkin' (and $2 S.S.S. tap beer) days. One of these gals was my next door neighbor at Gage Towers Dormitory. I knew we were gonna be BF's when she introduced herself to all our floors mates as having a purple toothbrush and a size 32A cup (ohhhh, Ames). Watch out when this group bonds-an outsider will be floored (or bored) at the stuff that we pulled off or thought we pulled off (enough stuff to keep me blogging for a life time). Then I have yet another fabulous group of cronies that have taken me under their wing and let me slip on into their exclusive gang (the initiation was something else). I met these sassy gals via an at-the-time-coworker. I'm not sure if she really wanted to be my friend at the time, but I can be persistent, like a bad VD, if I put my mind to it. Anyway, this gang of broads know the Brooke you get today (can you believe they still call me?). Although, lets be serious, I don't know if it is much different than the days of old... except I will never drink a Busch Light or Bacardi Limon Diet Coke ever again AND now every once in again they get a tale of hubby drama. Whatever, the whole drawn out point was supposed to be these ladies let me break into the third Tuesday of every month ritual of J.U.G.G's. If I have to spell it out for you, "Just Us Girls (and Gays)," are these cats clever or what. Each month the time is the same, location the same, vino and snacks vary slightly, but the conversation is ever changing. Oh boy, oh boy, do we gossip with the biggest capitol "G" e-v-e-r! If I wasn't sworn to secrecy I would tell you the topic (and (head-he he) count) from last month. At any rate, thanks J.U.G.G's for being so fun & making me feel like one of the troop (and for letting me take and post these photos). I just love you Laurie, Molly, Bridget, Martina and Nicki!

P.S. Don't think I didn't want to publish other photos from last night-but instead I will just save them in my blackmail file (kidding). AND for the record 6.5 bottles of wine split amongst us ain't bad for a Tuesday night... just really hard on a Wednesday morning.

PS I missed a lot of people in this quick post who I adore and cherish friendships with. Don't worry your time in the lime-light is coming (and that's a threat). See you tomorrow!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Good ole dirt under the nails...

Full speed ahead to spring my friends. Or at least it better be. Our great state of states has never received snow in June, July or August (according to Chris Schaffer), praise be... I like everyone else on my street decided this was the weekend to plant our fannies off (note to self: get one of these classy yard signs). I warned my hubby the task of purchasing all these annuals can not be taken lightly. I've learned if you don't warn about the possible time commitment it doesn't take long for the toe tapping to start. He agreed to the challenge, so we loaded up the fam in the 3 and our pilgrimage began. We made it out of the greenhouse just shy of 200 George Washington's-an expectation I maybe also should have set-considering I usually operate under the "don't ask-don't tell" shopping guideline. Enough flowers for two window boxes, four big pots and one little container. My math was almost perfect. My vision will hopefully be just as great (I'll post more pictures once things really start to bloom). At any rate we were in and out in record time and no one got hurt... One minor set back... We forgot in all flower shopping spree flurry to account for the hatch back square footage required to get Miss Kato home (hence the photo above). No big whoop, we didn't make Jerrid (did you really think I would make Miss Kato?) walk home, rather I just invited the 78lb (her diet isn't working) hound to ride on my lap. She of course gleefully accepted.

According to this great tree in my front yard-spring has finally sprung!

Spring back this way tomorrow for a look behind the scenes on our monthly girls night in.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Gone Fishin'

I am without a doubt a fair weather fisher woman. I don't fish in the rain or gloom and I want to be positioned so when I cast my face is aligned with the sun to catch the most rays. I won't touch a minnow and for-surely not a leechy-peachy to bait my own hook-only a night crawler on certain occasions. I don't know how to tie on my own lure and when it comes to selecting the right Rapala for the right time of day/season/catch of choice I am clueless. I continue to ask questions like "am I reeling too slowly? too fast?" I always tie a towel (pink of course) around my waders cuz I hate touching all the grime that collects on your hook when you drag it through the muck. I won't touch the tippy-toe of my wader in the lake unless my pocket in my bibs is loaded with sunflower seeds and an icy cold one. Are you wonderin' why my hubby would bother "carrying all that girl baggage" to the drink? I think he is just thrilled that he hooked a gal who likes to toss a line in the water. And if we are telling fishin' tales... I think I'm the one who reeled in the "big one" when I got hitched to him. Lord, only knows he holds the virtue of patience-just check out my "Fan Outdoors" interview with my favorite angler. PS Curious about the official weigh in? Three large mouth bass and two perch (both so tiny they were about the size of the crank bait they bit on-little fighters). And of course they were all catch and release (good luck little fellers). PSS tunage dedicated to my great friend and fellow "Grove-r" who is sowing her wild oats this week.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

It's Official...

McDreamy makes the most hearts go pitter-patter. I knew my home gals and gays would agree. I mean seriously. Who wouldn't be willing to suffer the "smooching-rash" from this 5 o'clock shadowed face?!? 5 votes or 71% are all dreaming of Dempsey. 2 votes or 28% go weak in the knees for Eric Dane. Don't say this blog doesn't tackle the real tough, real life questions...

Friday, May 16, 2008

Fashion Friday: It's a no-no!

Happy Fashion Friday all my blogging spring chickens. Today, a simple rule. It's black and white as I see it. No greyish boundaries when it comes to the topic of socks + sandals. Its just NOT ok. Spring has finally sprung. Yes, we may be a little freaked out about letting the "piggies go to market" but it doesn't give anyone license to do this. The way I see it you are never gonna be able to put your best foot forward when you leave your house looking like this nim-rod. Whether you are strutting down the runway or if you are making an emergency stop at Lund's-the only fashion-rule-breaker I am letting off the hook looks like this. So spend a little time this weekend buffing and shining so you can do your sandals (and your b cup) proud.

TTFN see you on Monday!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Planes... Trains... My B cups are strained!

"I want my f'ing car right f'ing now... You're f'd!" A classic line from a great movie. This, my friends, is the way I feel after the last couple of days. A plane to and from the big apple. Trains, including the A, C, N, 6 local, and 5 express, from downtown to midtown/uptown back downtown. And cars massive amounts of them crowding the byways of the Brooklyn Bridge as I ran across this morning breathing in the toxic exhaust(I'll tell more later). And mine waiting for me at the airport in the green ramp, floor #?, and row who knows. It's a whirlwind of transportation that I am stuck in. I'm so busy I am not even sure what my carbon imprint is doing. What I am sure of? Exhaustion. Three full days of schleping. Hiking, talking, smiling, selling, working, laughing, more schleping. Tonight... Top it off with a night cap including one cosmo, 2 glasses of pinot, a decaf coffee and a lame blog post. I'm gonna sleep like a baby (can't wait to snuggle with my hubby-no funny business-I'm too tired, headache, etc). You better rest up too! Tomorrow is Fashion Friday!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

24 years young, again?!?

I've been opening my checking account for direct withdrawl to Lifetime Fitness since the year 2000. I don't even want to know what that has adds up to over the course of 8 years (on a serious note it has been worth it). I'm a pretty "steady eddie" when it comes to exercise. I have been been dedicated (and yes during some life stages admittedly obsessed) since I joined the YMCA in 8th grade. I'm 5' 6 (and a half) and have weighed in at 140-145 lbs (gasp, a reveal most hate to admit) for at least the last 6 or 7 years in part due to the hitting the club on a regular basis. So last weekend I decided to take advantage of an added perk included with my membership. I signed up for the FREE BODY AGE ASSESSMENT TEST (highly recommended)!!! I'll start this tale by telling you I overindulged with friends the night before and awoke with a crippling hangover. I persevered and pulled my campfire-infused smelling hair into a grimy pony tail, downed 6 cups of coffee, and brushed/listerined, brushed/listerined, brushed/listerined and got my behind in gear. Once I arrived at the club the unpredictable waves of nausea subsided and I met up with Justin, a great personal trainer, and warned him "I'm tellin' ya I feel like I'm 94." The test began a little Q & A: what is your current regimen like, how are your current eating habits, what are your fitness goals, (and the big one) what is going to keep you from reaching your goals (interestingly enough, a difficult question). Next, the official weigh in, followed by the dreaded skin fold test. Up next we got physical with a strength test. I was armed with a bar connected to this gadget and on the count of three I bicep curled that thang until my arms shook (67 lbs-I shoulda done better). Sit and reach (no prob) and a 5 minute treadmill session to measure overall fitness. All this data is punched into the computer and it in turn spits out all this great data that Justin (if you are up for the test-see this guy-he is really good at what he does) helped me understand:

Body Mass Index-normal (even though 23.7 doesn't sound real great)

Cardiovascular (estimated) Max VO2 (heart rate mumbo-jumbo)-moderate

Bicep Strength-good

Sit and Reach-excellent

Body Composition-optimal/good

Overall Fitness-Excellent (not bad for a hang over as my bff)

Anywayz, in summary we concluded my goals are to reduce my BMI by -3.5 points to 18% and to reduce my body weight by 7 lbs. He warned that it is possible for my BMI to be reduced, but my weight to remain stable or increase (the whole muscle weighs more that fat thing). He said by sound nutrition, strength and cardiovascular programs I could reach my fitness/wellness goals in 7 weeks. He was even able to tell me I need to consume a total of 2120 calories each day for normal daily activities (maintennance) more if excerise is part of the daily regimin. This incredible amount of information indicates that I am NOT 30 but 24. I sure wish my face looked like it (bye, bye crows feet).

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

The battle of the McHotties

I'm so sorry. It was an accident. An oversight of colossal measures. My only excuse is I had to rise (not shining) this morning at 4am to make my flight to NYC. In all the hustle and bustle of packing at the last minute, I forgot my camera cord (not the camera). You know the magic cord which enables me to publish all those photos for you to enjoy. I had good intentions of bringing you a whiter and brighter b cup today, but I think you'll survive a few more days until I am home again...

In attempt to make it up to you I will try to tempt you with a little user involvement. This is a epic battle. The outcome of this war will have a life long impact on this world as we know it. You as b cup bloggers have the opportunity for your voice to be heard on a topic good enough for Thursday night prime time. McHottie vs McSteamy (or the straight guy non committal option). It seems everyone has their favorite. I (as if you don't know my vote) have a warm and fuzzy spot in my heart (yes, in my heart you pervert) for McDreamy. He's got that all American thing going with the down home cuteness factor. He's just so sweet, "he'll put a pimple on your arse" as a wise man once told me (not naming any names her Tom G.) I'm not saying McSteamy is hard on the ole eyes... its just you know... sometimes they are just too hot for anyone to handle. Am I makin' any sense here? I tell you what you be the judge. This is the campaign 08 that really matters people. You have just a couple days to weigh in.

Speaking of weighing in... I did that and a whole lot more on Saturday. Jog on back tomorrow for an update on how old I really am.


b cup

Monday, May 12, 2008

Mullet May Monday (a.k.a. the achy breaky bad mistakey)

Hi-de-ho there naughty, blogger, neighbors. I was so excited for Fashion Friday I almost forgot my commitment to Mullet May Mondays. I'm sorry if you don't think this is funny (if so, whats wrong with you?) but I take mullet hunting very seriously. My hubby doesn't think this is one bit cute, I dunno, something about "low hanging fruit" he said. But just as I promised today we pay homage to the coupe longveuil, circa 1984, in all its glory. Other stereotypical names include the el camino or as my friend Derek calls it the camero crash helmet. Click here to see that even a big bank account doesn't ensure you are safe from the mullet wrath. If you are up for wasting a some good time peruse the pages of this website for more bad haircuts that you can imagine: Mullets Galore. O.K. so maybe I am being a little harsh (am I getting soft or what?) so next week (Monday) I will move on and mock another era and another bad haircut. You're just going to have to wait in suspense until then.

Now that I am back on track... tomorrow a white and brighter b cup.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Fashion Friday: Whatever blows your skirt up!

Happy Fashion Friday all my bare legged (and PALE as all get up if you're like me) bloggers! Today's post is in honor of one of my favorite things in this whole, wide, world. Taaa-Daaa! The "A" line skirt! From this day forward until the Fall season knocks on my door I will be wearing my coveted A line style skirts. This style skirt is perfect on most any body type and is the best fit (I think) if you happen to be built like the b cups (little in the middle with A LOT of junk in the trunk). You really can't go wrong with the trusty ole A line unless you are a Shorty McShorterton. If you are vertically challenged be sure you select an A line that shows a little skin. Let me break it down for ya'll. Just above the knee: Always. Just in the middle of the knee: Sometimes. Below the knee: Never for you little ladies (tea length only if you long legged (bii-atches). Personally the more retro or ugly the pattern the better! Now is the time people-go crazy with the A line! I love the extra ventilation they provide during those dog days of summer (whenever that decides to arrive). I would buy all of these skirts I just showed you if my husbby wouldn't divorce me for blowing the bank and for sucking up even more closet space. Just yesterday I wore one of my favorites (purchased by my hubby-thanks babe) with a fun, vintage, flower pin clipped onto my sash-sorta-belt. And boys because I am an equal opportunity blogger-you can wear a skirt too, see?

Blow back in on Monday for a whiter and brigher b cup! Have a great weekend.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Move over bacon

When I first met my hubby in college it didn't bother me to "sleep" along side him in his jail cell (twin sized) bed. I say "sleep" because in this early stage of love I didn't mind all that closeness. You know what I mean, the hot (as in sweaty feet hot), spooning situation where you can't roll over to get comfy (no room), where you don't want to sleep to hard (in case you drool or snore), and where being completely entangled in one another doesn't bother you (much like a straight jacket wouldn't...). The way I see it once we moved past the gooo-geee-gaaa-gaaa stages of L.O.V.E. we yearned for some "normal" sleep habits. The relationship blossomed and our legs were able to sprawl out a bit in the cool, crisp sheets of my new queen size bed. Suddenly I started to sleep sounder (more sound, whatever) with him next to me and felt a little out of sorts if he wasn't there. This stage lasted through both of us graduating college and kept on until we got our first townhouse together and then we adopted Miss Kato (we are rule followers-doin' all this stuff in perfect sequence). I remember when we went to "look" at Kato's litter of puppies-I won-we brought her home that same day. The first night we put in her in a box by my side of that queen size bed... she cried... non-stop... for hours... my hubby asked, "what the hell did we do?"... and I cried (go figure)... then finally realized if I slept with my arm hanging off the side of the bed tucked under her soft, puppy, belly she would finally sleep... and we did too. Fast forward a few years and we got engaged (thought he'd never ask), sold our starter house, bought the house in the Grove and got hitched. I still slept better when my hubby was sawing a log (forest some nights) next to me, but we both secretly loved one or two nights with the bed all to ourselves. And then I made a pivotal decision in our life as husband, wife and domestic animal. While the hubby was away on business I invited Miss Kato to cuddle up with me in that queen size bed... and she never left. I decided the queen ain't cuttin' it. We finally made the leap & purchased a king size bed after many nights of clinging to the edge like a Mount Everest climber You see, Miss Kato falls asleep in a cute, little, ball at our feet but ends up on her side with all 4's pushing straight out (she's a total bed hog). Until last night. I brushed and flossed like the good b cup I am and when I tip-toed to crawl in bed-well, you can see the picture. Who knows what's next.

What we all know is up next... Fashion Friday. See you then.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Out with the new in with the old?!?

I love vintage stuff. There's nothing like the patina on a great piece of antique jewelry, the retro pattern on a scarf, the rick-rack on a kitchy-Mrs. Clever apron or even the heft of a zipper on a great, little, beaded, black, dress. I love the thrill of the hunt while scouring the local antique shops or the bidding war (as long as I win) on Ebay. Or better yet the treasures that are passed down from generation to generation (more on this in future posts). I ponder if anyone (hopefully my kids... someday) will covet any of the objects or attire I have accumulated over the years as a great vintage piece... or will all my stuff end up on a jammed-packed-full rack at the local Goodwill? I inherited a few really fabulous objects from my late grandma. I love these fun, little accents because they are as beautiful and classic as she was. Just like this cute, petite, vase of a pin. I wear it on the lapel of a sweater or summer-weight-jacket and tuck in a fresh stem from my window box (***or a planter outside a client's project). I have no clue why the water doesn't spill out when you crouch over to tie a shoe, but I have managed to stay dry. I think it is a must have for each girl's summer repertoire and a sweet gift idea for a special gal. Not quite ready to jump on the vintage band wagon? Think of it as another great way to help out Mother Earth by recycling a bit.

***Today, was so frigin' windy... while walking down "the Mall" to meet with a client my pansy was sucked outta my little vase so quickly I couldn't catch it. So I did what any resourceful gal would. I plucked one right out of a "public" planter, in front of a BIG name hotel, tucked it right back in place and keep on my merry way. Well, a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. Now you gotta get back to work-until tomorrow my friends.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Drive Time Divas

I remember as a kid hating the ticking clock at the beginning of 60 Minutes. It meant an hour of painful TV watching/listening while my parents actually sat and relaxed for moment. I mean all that talking about real life stuff... seriously... who cared when an episode of Fraggle Rock was being missed? If you told me if I would eventually become full time "talk" radio-er I would have called you a big-fat-liar. And now? When I get into my hubby's car (yes the stinky one, remember?) I can't spin the dial fast enough from KFAN & 830 to where I belong on FM 107.1 (I still grieve the loss of DRIVE 105 which is now a station with all love songs ALL THE TIME-I could gag). The highlight of the station is the Lori and Julia Show from 3-6pm Monday-Friday. These gals are hilarious and I love listening to Donny try and reign them when things go a titch South (lets just say he works hard). The "Minnesota Brogue" runs thick over the airways, but if you think you sound any different you are kidding yourself. This trio talks the really cerebral, important topics rooted in economics, politics and philosophy (you know JUST like this blog). O.K. seriously think of it as US Weekly (because the subscription is more gossip less real junk and half the price of People) without having to read. Tune in on Sex Mondays' where the mission (pun totally intended) is to teach ya about all the stuff Ms. Hauser left out of 7th grade P.E./Health. They talk celebs, gossip, books (the good one's like Candy Girl), gossip, fashion, gossip and even give you the 411 on whatsup in MSP on the weekends (ALMOST, almost, as good as a girls night out). I mean this gang is really providing a public service the way I see it AND the cherry on top? If you log onto the website now you can sign up to pick a time to listen and if they say your name at 4:10 or 5:10 you can win $1k. If you win we are so going halves-ies on the prize moo-lah. Tune (in Tokyo-try and name that movie) back in tomorrow-for, well, um, I'm not sure yet...

Monday, May 5, 2008

Mullet May Monday (a.k.a. the Ape Drape)

A recent email from one of my dearest friends, Bean, inspired these words on the haircut fit for business in the front and a party in the back (you know, a mullet, pronounced "muhl let" in case you live under a rock). She's a successful attorney and contests this is child abuse, and frankly, I gotta agree. Of course I can't resist adding my $.02 (seen below in italics).

Red Wing boy takes first place in Minn. mullet contest, Star Tribune

RED WING, Minn. - A 3-year-old (he's a baby-he can't fend for himself!) Red Wing boy has won first prize in this year's Minnesota Mullet Contest, (and we wonder why people think we live like the folks from the movie Fargo-hey) and yes, there is such a thing. Hockey Moms magazine, a Minnesota publication that's distributed at hockey arenas, named Brady Arneson's blond hairdo the best. Mullets are a family tradition for the Arnesons — Brady's older brother Blake won the same award in 2005 (OMG! even their neighbors from the trailer park are embarrassed). Their father Scott Arneson also had a mullet as a child (hellloooo, Dad, Scott, whatever TWO wrongs don't make a right). Mullets, which are sometimes called hockey hair, remain popular for some players. Scott Arneson explains that hockey kids want their hair to hang out the back of their helmets (I tight rolled my pants as a kid-doesn't make it O.K.). Brady's parents say they'll soon cut his mullet to keep their son comfortable in the warm weather (you have got to be kidding me are they gonna shave "tiger claws" in his sideburns for extra ventilation?).

In honor of the Mullet, Beaver Paddle, Bi - Level, Canadian passport, Kentucky waterfall, Missouri compromise, Neckwarmer, Ranchero, Shlonc (short + long), Soccer rocker, Squirrel pelt, Tennessee tophat, Yep-nope, I am going to feature a new "Mudflap" every Monday for the month of May. This is gonna be fun! PS Turn on the volume-I "think" I am soooooo funny...

Friday, May 2, 2008

Buckle Up - It's Fashion Friday!

Hip-happy Fashion Friday to ya! Today we hike up our trousers and parler des ceintures (talk belts-fancy pants!). If you work with the b cups you know I have a weak spot in my heart for belts. I love how a fun belt can make an ordinary outfit look perfectly polished. Cinch yourself up around the smallest part of your waist & add some va-va-va-voom curves to that bod of yours. Tie a thick belt on slightly higher if you have a longer torso or to create an empire waist line with a blousy shirt or dress. The belts I'm talking about don't require any loops in your pants-these are all about the "cuteness" factor. (NOT like this-scary-plus what if you have to potty f-a-s-t?) This is a fantastic belt I found on Esty (web site for all the artsy-fartsies to sell their works) and the designer calls it her "princess samurai" belt! This belt was a pair of denim capris pants reincarnated into this fabulous-ness! How great is that? And 45 buck-a-roos (I WANT IT)! Looking for a dual purpose belt for fashion and safety? Wear this belt for a night on the town and if you get creeped out by some random on the way to your car it doubles as those medival nunchaku-thingies! Whaaaa-yyaaa-look out! This big, fatty belt totally rocks! Not so rockin' is when people thought these belts were gonna do any good. For all the boys out there big buckles aren't just for cowboys anymore-yee-haa! Check out my cute friend Jeff and his bad arse belt here! Anyway, whatever the outfit tie on a belt for good measure.

I hope you have a belt-a-licious weekend...

Thursday, May 1, 2008

No second chances at a first impression!

A first impression is everything right? So what happens when the first time you meet your potential, future parent-in-laws they have to send you home with a "puke bucket." Yes, this seriously is how I first "wow'd," and tastefully impressed my hubby's parents. In my defense let me explain the circumstances. It's the summer of my junior year in college. My then boyfriend invites me back to his sleepy, (sleepy is maybe putting it delicately) little, two-horse-town for a high school friend's wedding AND meet the rents. Sure, sure, I'm good at parentals and they seem to typically somehow find me charming. We make a great roadie mix cd with all our pirated music, courtesy of Napster, and hit the highway. Upon arrival I love them and I am pretty sure they are reciprocating the vibe. We gussy ourselves up and "scoot" on over to the Catholic church for the sweaty, exchange of summer wedding vows. Amen. I say "scoot" because we seriously both rode my hubby's dad's moped. I of course with a skirt and high heels in check (it wasn't until later in the evening that I noticed my half-shaved down wooden heels from dragging them on the pavement-I am serious-you can't make this stuff up). Ok sweet, formalities are complete and it's only 3pm. Reception starts at 5 at the ever swanky local VFW (the viff-waaa as I like to call em). Neeeeeee-neeen-neeeen-neen, we reve up the moped and head over with the rest of the heavy weight drinking crowd to pre-party before the dinner and dance. Make no mistake I grew up in So. Dak. and I can toss em back like no one's biz, but a 3pm start on an empty tummy will get anyone bom-blasted in a hurry. 5 pm dinner starts (fried chicken and all the fixins buffet style if memory serves) but by now I am out of the mood and besides don't want to risk loosing the buzz. I'll take my dinner in a plastic keg cup, icy cold, no foam. 6pm-ish to 12am-ish I rock that small town dance floor like a crazy woman. 12:03am (yes a 3 minute drive from the viff-waaa to the ranch) I stagger to bed, fight off the bed spins and fall into an alcohol induced coma. 8am the alarm goes off b/c we gotta get back so I can work at 12noon (in the hot sun, all day, millions of screaming kids, and me responsible for making sure no one drowns) and I contemplate suicide (half kidding). My brain is rattling loose in my skull and my stomach has a case of the shivers. The chief (hubby's dad) gleefully hollers, "how do you like your eggs kids?" I throw up a little in my mouth. "I can't," I tell my then boyfriend, "I don't know what you are gonna tell em, but I can't and we gotta go!" I wonder if he (hubby) knew it would be the first of many b cup bail outs?!? In attempt to make an already long blog post short... Joanie (best mother in law ever) sent me home with a hug and an empty ice cream bucket. I thought the only way this will ever work if we estrange ourselves from your entire family and never speak of this again. Little did I know Joanie said, "ahhh, we knew after that she was gonna fit right in."

Fit a stop by http://www.34bcup.blogspot.com/ in your schedule tomorrow-you won't regret it.