Ramblings of a 34B cup...

Send your own ElfYourself eCards
Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Monday, June 30, 2008

Us? Responsible?

I can hear ya’ll now, “Well, just where do you think you have been!?!” I know. You’ll never guess. Go ahead and try. Stuck at home in bed for a few days with some crazy bug causing everything ingested to be violently ejected from my mouth, and yes, my nose. Gross! Happy to report I am feeling like my old B Cup self and a lb or two lighter (although only for a day). So anyway, that’s that and I missed you too.

So after I rallied I ended up having a great weekend “playing parent” to the cutest little guy ya ever seen! Yup, two parents actually trusted my hubby and I to care for their most prized possession. I think we did an ok job if I do say so myself! Henry (you know, the tike from the blog Hank’s Dream) spent a good chunk of the weekend with us. We had a total blast (might have to try this parenting thing out for ourselves sometime) and I think his parents did too judging by their tired eyes and baritone voices when they picked him up on Sunday afternoon.

I was a little nervous when I picked him up he may not be sure about my supervision, but alas he couldn't’t get rid of his parents fast enough, “Mommy bye!” He travels like a champ! He swims like a fearless (seriously, in my 5 years of teaching swimming lessons, I have not seen anything like it) fish! He LOVED the slide (forward on his bum and backward on his tummy).

He picked up a cute chick! He FINALLY decided to submit and end his love/hate relationship with Miss Kato! He ate his weight in Chipotle, turkey/cheddar brats, pancakes, ice cream (sorry Mommy about the chocolate stained jammies), popsicles and ham sandwiches! He loved “running” with us in the stroller (and watching Miss Kato go #2…boys). He tooted and blamed it on Miss Kato (so it starts THAT young…again, boys). He slept like a rock and was an absolute angel (only scowled once when I had to have a little heart to heart with him). He learned how to call ducks. And my favorite part… he giggled not stop. And the saddest part (aside from when he had to go home)… I think I’m now officially playing second fiddle.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

All the pretties...

Think quick! What does 1 34B cup + 1 Fab Over Forty = ?Give up? One helluva a good time at the Giorgio Armani makeup counter at Saks (5th Ave and 49th Street, NYC). Oh yes, its true. The makeup guru (doesn't she look SMOKIN' H-O-T!) roped me in like a baby calf at the Brown County fair. After a day of schlepping in the steamy hot city Rafael had his hands full trying to degrease my shiny forehead and bronze-me-up like an air brushed super model. As you can see the first step was this crazy, cool, foaming cleanser to suck out the oil and dirt and let in the fresh H2O. No surprise my face bubbled like an Elka Seltzer tablet! Next some concealer on upper lids and under eye area to brighten, then a layer of some kind of powder mixed with some kind of bronzey foundation stuff (I told ya-he's good-and I... don't know what the hell I'm doing), next a medely of eyeshadow so perfectly nude I was amazed, followed by a bronzer and perfect "10" blush, a sleek (not sticky) gloss, a tweek to the bushy brow line and the finale was this glittery, fabulousness of a mascara! I looked like a million bucks and the total dollar amount for all that makeup would be too (honey, don't freak-I made it outta there with a nominal investment-gulp)! I mean this isn't the kind of makeup you see at Walgreen's or Duane Reade for that matter (nor are the prices) but having the cutest makeup artist in all of Manhattan making you look smashing counts for something, doesn't it? AND this is the most quality chemistry in makeup on this planet (I know, sooooo dramatic). Ok, no surprise I am way over my head with all this makeup talk, so if you really want to learn more turn to the professionals (I required 2 recaps on the whole process in order to try and recreate it myself) Rafael (love him) or Kari (again, http://www.faboverforty.com/). All this glamour calls for a night on the town (alas, a topic I have a PhD in), doesn't it? Sure we could gone to some swanky upper East side club or restaurant for fancy drinks and dinner... but we, in all our fanciness, chose Edwards in Tribeca for salads and sodas. Good food, good makeovers, great company!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Nothin' like the view...

...from the cheap seats (and lets face it-nothin' cheap about a day at the ballpark anymore). Incase you have been living under a rock or really don't give a pop fly about baseball THIS is THE LAST year the Yankees are playing at the original Yankee Stadium (opened in 1923)! The new Yankee Stadium is right across the street waiting to over shadow all the history made by Mickey, Babe, Joe Di, Etc! I wonder why we can't just let the greatest ballparks of all time be? Does Budweiser really need to sell more seats + more beer at each home game (the stadium holds 57,545)? Anyway people, this is part of American history and it's going fast so warm up your Visa, MC or Am Ex with an inflated, over-face-value-ticket (unless you were like me and bought seats back in March) and experience it for yourself. Bring along tons of cash for the $9.00 beers and $5.00 dogs (and some Zantac if your heartburn prone). Purchase yourself some NY garb so you look the part and enjoy an afternoon with the "home town nine" as it was meant to be: OUTDOORS! Grab the 4 train uptown (were you paying attention) and head to the Bronx and put your finger on the pulse of the strong, impressive and wildly over payed New York Yankees (opps they lost to the Reds 2-4). You gotta do it-just so you can say you did, don't ya, huh? Anywayz, it was the BIG surprise (before he guessed it-long story) I had been planning for a million years for my hubby's 32nd birthday (honey if your reading: better remember to award me the Best Wife Ever Award). Totally fun, totally cool, just go do it!

PS Today was a toss up for my hoakey, have witted attempt to coordinate music. Is the better ball song Cheap Seats by Alabama or Put Me in Coach by John Fogerty? Cast your vote for MVP on my poll!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

I recall...

...Central Park in fall (OK so not really fall more like early summer). So tell me if you've had this kind of moment before... it's a moment always burned into your memory. Not in a bad sort of geriatric "junk" kind of way (you know who you are), but more a moment in time never to be forgotten. I have been fortunate to have lots of these sort of blissful memories-you're at peace, your surroundings are inspiring-dare you say perfect? You are completely, well, simply put, happy. This is how I felt the first time my hubby and I stopped by the Tavern on the Green in Central Park last year. The building is old, full of history, if the walls could talk you could fill the air waves of 1,000 blogs. A glass atrium sparkles with numerous, voluptuous, colorful, jewel-like chandeliers. Pink (go figure) and white linen table clothes placed perfectly on heavy, white, iron tables with coordinating chairs. The central courtyard is covered with a canopy of trees, full of summer foliage, baskets dripping with flowers suspended from its strong arms. AND what sealed the deal for me...hundreds of English, floral patterned, fabric, lanterns suspended from the highest crook to the lowest bough. The condensation from the side of my cold, lemonade glass, cooling my warm hands. My cute, sun-kissed hubby sitting across from me, eyes sheltered by his Lacosse aviator shades, ordering us a chocolate cake drizzled with raspberry. I loved it all. I was completely, well, simply put, happy. A moment in time I will always remember.

My hubby remembered the lemonade was $11 a glass. He was completely, well, simply put, astounded. (but I think he still loved it too). We went back again last weekend-and my memory served. Check it out for yourself...

Be sure and see the photo as promised of the weekend birthday boys. And 34B cup "does the subway" photos...

Monday, June 23, 2008

In Transit

There is something to be said for city living relying solely on public transportation. Think about no car payments or pricey insurance with two consecutive speeding tickets (not me, my hubby). Never would you have to haggle with a car sales person for an entire afternoon until out of sheer exhaustion you purchase the vehicle to "get it over with." No more sweating/freezing/crying at the pump watching the dollars fly by at $4 bucks a gallon. Instead you show up at the station, slide your handy metro card through the greasy card slot and "stand clear of the closing doors" as the train car speeds away to the next stop. The investment is nominal at about $80 for unlimited chances to sit back, relax and let some other knuckle head get you to where you need to go for 30 days. I doubt anyone is driving an insured car, fillin' er up with gas for less than that unless you call yourself "Uncle Buck." As a little bonus you are forced to get-cher rump in gear and walk more, you know, a couple blocks here and a couple blocks there but every little bit helps. The NYC subway system is pretty easy to use once you get the hang of it. One helpful hint to get ya moving like a crabby New Yorker in a hurry is this: Ready? Uptown vs Downtown vs Cross town. Every single time you get on a train you are going to need to know if you are headed uptown (i.e. Central Park, Upper West Side, Upper East Side, eventually Harlem, and the Bronx) or downtown (i.e. Soho, Tribeca, Financial District, Battery Park, and eventually Brooklyn). Crosstown means just that smarty pants, going from the West side of things (lined with the Hudson River) to the East side of things (lined with the East River). Here's where they throw you one little side winder. You gotta watch for the "local" trains that stop at every station and the "express" trains that only stop at the larger transit stations with lots of connections (i.e. every single train stops at Grand Central Station). OK fine, so enough the transportation lesson-you get the point. It's A. Easy B. Cheap C. Convenient with an added fitness factor.

So on the flip side of the subway tracks taking the train will take a little more time and planning. Your not gonna "buzz" up to Central Park for a couple of hours then to Soho for lunch and then to the upper East side to your favorite antique store and back home to Tribeca. Instead you need to get a game plan before you step out the door so you can make the most of your time in the city. Second, we (as in all us car owning, gas burning, global warming folks) take for granted the "luxury" of being able to park our rig right in front of the grocery store, load (or if at Byerly's have them loaded) into your car so we can drive into our attached garage and unload them easily. In the city market trips are often and for a small amount of items and when you go on a complete bender at the Triple B (Bed, Bath and Beyond) you'll fork out $20 bucks to have your goods delivered later that same day. These are just the facts Mam. So having a car is A. Fun (depending on the kind of car) B. Flashy (again depending on the kind of car) and C. Convenient too. So whatever your typical means of transportation... the grass may always be a little greener on the other side of the median.

Later today... I finally get a camera cord and change up some of these stock photos to BCup photos. Tomorrow... One of my favorite spots in the big apple.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Happy Birthday Boys!!!

So today I am gonna ace out Fashion Friday, one of my favorite things to wish two of my favorite boys a Happy Birthday. Actually, their big day is not until tomorrow, the summer solstice (another favorite thing), but I'm so excited I can't wait any longer... (hence the timer in the side bar)

I'm a lucky gal. I married my best friend. I met him in college when he briefly dated one of roommates (a whole nother blog post) The dude who puts up with all the stupid things I do and appreciates all the good stuff too. He's a real guy's-kinda-guy who likes baseball, football, hockey, etc, golf, hunting birds, fishing, wake boarding yada, yada, yada (with all the coordinating gear). But he's got a little metro sexual flowing through his viens too with his $65.00 haircuts, and new Mavi jeans. He's my partner in exploration and often my voice of reason. And seriously, he's easy on the eyes too. Happy 32nd Birthday Jerrid! I love you!

To little Hanky Panky: Watching him grow up before my eyes has been nothing short of amazing. Two years old and he's all little boy and barely any baby anymore. This kid is just H.A.P.P.Y. and melts my heart. He loves driv-n, baseball, Miss Kato (in a love/hate sort of way), go, go racing, bike rides, playing in the dirt... you know boy stuff. He's chatting up a storm putting together all sorts of sentences and loves his Frankie's "supreme" pizza just as much as I do. If I didn't love his parents so much I would run off with him to Mexico. Happy 2nd Birthday little feller. Auntie loves, loves, loves you!

I'm kickin' myself right square in the arse, cuz I left my camera cord at home and I can't post the cutest picture ever that I have of these two. Damn *%&^ing, son of a ##*^&!!! I'm gonna see if I can buy one today-so check back ya hear?

Thursday, June 19, 2008

LIVE from New York...

...the greatest city in the world.
It's Daaaavvvviiiiid Lettermaaaaan! Yup, you got it. The B cups and my hubby made "the gold list" casting call for the studio audience. Lets just say this. 3 rows back and sitting at the end of the aisle, I was ready to "name that cut of meat" if Dave woulda asked. Prime seating as they "warned" us for our 1 minute of fame. But, alas nothing doing with the audience tonight except for a wide pan of the whole gang (scope me out tonight in a white, short sleeved T-like every other Tina, Diana, and Harrieta). The whole process to get those coveted tickets required us to spend the better part of 7 hours in Times Square, but worth the time investment to see Dave, Paul, Biff, Alan and special guests Jason Bateman (hottie), Teri Garr and Keyshia Cole. Yes, the Hello Deli is right around the corner, and yes it is just as dumpy in person as it looks on TV. The Ed Sullivan Theatre really is about 60 degrees (cold enough to hang meet), and for sure we recommend you try and get seats its a ton of fun. Speaking of fun, gotta run for dinner reservations in the West Village. Tomorrow, Fashion Friday is gonna play second fiddle, cuz I gotta wish two of my favorite boys a Happy Birthday!

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

I like big butts...

..and I can not lie, I am totally jazzed to report a little good news to all the pear-like shaped silhouettes out there. Bout time us curvy gals with "little in the middle, but-cha got much back" catch a break. A word to all the skinny chicks out there... eat yer heart out (and a couple greasy burgers w/ fries would ya?)

Associated Amy B. Press reports: A type of fat that accumulates around the hips and bottom may actually offer some protection against diabetes.

Subcutaneous fat, or fat that collects under the skin, helps to improve
sensitivity to the hormone insulin, which regulates blood sugar. Mice that
got transplants of this type of fat lost weight and their fat cells shrank.

Researchers have known for some time that fat that collects in your abdomen-- known as visceral fat -- can raise your risk of diabetes and heart disease. People with pear-shaped bodies are less prone to these disorders. It seems that their fat may be actively protecting them from metabolic disease.

Sorry "apples," maybe it's actually "a pear a day-that will keep the doctor away!"

Monday, June 16, 2008

Family Ties

Gooooooood morning (afternoon, whatever) 34B cup bloggers! A happy belated Father's Day to all the daddy-o's out there. I hope your kids made you a great breakfast in bed, let you watch what ever you wanted on the ole boob tube, catered to whatever whim you wished and bought you a heartfelt gift (we all know it's the thought-doesn't have to be expensive-but of course that helps). I didn't have the chance to spend the DAD dedicated day with "my old man, " (hate that phrase almost as much as "the old ball and chain" (kidding Kimberli)) but I sent a hug through the invisible, cellular phone lines and sent a gift per protocol. I did get the chance to log lots of hours with the local-yocal fam and my MOM made the trek too. Of course no family get together would be the same without our "cast of characters." Nothin' better than chillin' on the porch with the whole clan (K-9's Bella and Blossom too), playing with the kids, and telling fabricated stories. Gotta love it!

Friday, June 13, 2008

Fashion Friday! Retro-Schmetro!

Happy Fashion Friday everyone-not a minute too soon if you ask me! I bet ya'll have been there before (ok all the gals and drag queen readers-sorry boys)... Searching high and low for the perfect dress. I LOVE to shop with the best of em (a self proclaimed black-belt (gold belt), if I may), but the thought of wasting away a day at the MOA, bored by the same old same old makes my tummy turn. Instead I always prefer searching out a "throw-back," for the anticipated fete. I wore this great, little, black, 60's mod, sequined, mini dress to an awards banquet with a "black and white" ball theme and had blast! My fav way to hunt for the just right retro dress is Ebay. But, you gotta plan ahead gals (and queens), start shopping ASAP, and then calmly sit back while the rest of your posse freaks out 2 days prior to the gig. I can think of 1,000 reasons for you to seek out the perfect vintage frock rather than something, "off the rack," at the nearest department store. Rather than put you through all that pomp and circumstance I'll list the top 5-plus I love ya and all, but I got things to do...
one. The chances of the dreaded run in with another broad wearing your same dress is as likely as striking Texas Tea in your backyard.
two. Save the earth! Buying vintage is my opinion the funnest (yes, funnest) way to recycle.
three. Save greenbacks. The occasional "WOW-a-ZA" dress will ring in some serious dough, but typically vintage is affordable.
and four. This little ditty has history. For all you know if was wadded up in a ball on the floor of some guys '57 Chevy on prom night. Maybe this is your, "lucky" dress too!
five. It's fun to say, "oh, it's vintage" when some hootchie inquires about where she can get a dress like yours.
five and 1/2. In the end I'm just one gal tryin' to give a cute dress a new closet to call home. You should adopt too, it just the right thing to do!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

You can pick your friends...

...you can pick your nose (if your a dirtball), but ya just can't pick your family (so my Auntie says). You get who you get-plain & simple. So "luck be a lady" (whatever that means) that I was paired up with this group of ya-who's. See these are some of my kissin' (don't get any funny ideas) cousins (see em all in the birthday wish post below too). They ALL at some point in time will all be outed on future posts. Chill girls, not a threat, a promise! When I said, "you can't pick your family," it's actually a good thing. For example, they HAVE to forgive me for being a bratty, tweeney-bopper, who ripped out the braids they carefully folded into my hair. They are stuck partnering up with me for holiday board games (I bet lots of people didn't know who Truman Capote was). They must laugh with me (at me, whatever) for being the only one gullible enough to actually "flash" the camera (I'm claiming young and impressionable AND no I won't publish this photo!). And they must still love me even though I can always taunt them with the fact they will ALWAYS be older than me (see, hence: young and impressionable-it's really all their fault)! These chicks taught me all I know. The good, the bad and all of the naughty (you have them to thank/hate, whatever). Now, the way I see it I have my work cut out. I now have to pass on all this knowledge to their youngsters, so they too can grow up to be social misfits (I call it like I see it gals) like their mommy's. Butt... (and I've seen 'em all) the bottom line is it's about time I blog a thank you to Anderson broads (and Melissa too) for putting up with the Bcups the past 30 years. (and yes, I am bitter I might be the only Bcup in the brood-except Lori-sorry honey). I know they are always gonna be in my corner and most certainly will be in theirs.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Birthday Wishes Galore!

Happy Birthday Big Snoot!

I betcha thought I forgot, nah-nah, nah-nah boobie! Speaking of “boobage” how is it possible this birthday girl is from the same gene pool as me (that's her, the blondie, front and center)?!? Today we salute you little, Absolut Citron, splash of OJ, splash of cranberry, high maintenance cocktail gal! Oh my BIG Snoot, where to start, where to start? If only I had digital photos of your younger years I could pay you homage through the days of the boots with skinny jeans tucked into them (you’ve been around long enough for this to come back into style!), the asymmetrical haircut (powered by Vidal Sassoon?) , the blue (yes blue) mascara, the days of sleeping in until 10:30am (with me dying for her to get up already), the first car FULL of so much girl gear there was no where to sit, right up to the more recent years of our “perfect” Twin Cities 10 Mile run, the moon walk escapades (thankfully no one took photos) and the late nights (more like early mornings) at the Grouchy Dog! Kimberli, Kimi, Kimberli-Kaye I love you and wish you the best birthday yet… with many more wild and crazy birthday parties to come! XOXO!

Good Golly Miss Molly!

A double birthday wish goes out to my fellow J.U.G.G.’s member (pretty sure she's gonna die when she see this dramatic photo of herself-thanks NJ)! I just realized (epiphany people) I really need to find some more friends with A/Bcup range… this just isn’t fair! Never has my path crossed with another gal more beautiful both inside and out. This chick, she is the real deal. Sooo sweet she’ll give you a tooth ache! It is impossible not to adore her! Loves to you Molly-have a fabulous birthday!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008


An annual event as rich in tradition as the Belmont Stakes itself... The "fillies" seemed to behave a bit more than last year AND believe it or not the MG Po-Po did not make an appearance this year (and lesson learned-I, one woman, did not drink an entire pitcher of sangria alone). I was worried if the "cop-ers" (are we 30 somethings or early 20 somethings?) came back again this year Catfish Johnston would have better odds of becoming a "gelding" than anticipated favorite Big Brown! Bets were placed as we watched the thoroughbreds prance through the paddock, and I crossed my fingers that #8, Anak Nakal, would deliver the upset (and I could claim the winnings for the second year in a row). I was as disappointed as all those suckers who put it all on the line for the 2-5 odds favorite, Big Brown, to WIN. If I were a betting woman I woulda placed the horse adorned with the #1 at the top of my trifecta bet too... and I too would've lost. I'm all about rooting for the underdog, but it would have been cool to see the carnations placed upon the 12th Triple Crown winner. With all due respect, I think it is total horse sh*! the winning horse Da’ Tara (the long shot on the boards) got the complete shaft! For cryin' out loud let the colt (with only 8 total races under his belt) relish in the moment of glory! Barely a word spoken on the come behind winner who won by 5 1/4 lengths (and Laurie (and Henry) only had about 1 minute to bask in her $45-pot-o-gold victory)! Lets give the little (5'-2" and 110lbs-I could bench press him) Peruvian jockey, Alan Garcia, his 2 minutes of well deserved fame, huh, would ya, huh? Ok, now that I have that off my chest... Giddy-up on back here tomorrow for a little somethin-somethin (i'm not being sneaky-got a case o' the writers blockage).

Monday, June 9, 2008

Personal train-ah takin' weight gain-ah...

Seriously, I don't even know who raps that song I used in the title. What I DO know is that if you want a big ole slice of humble pie (or maybe I should say a slice of low fat, whole grain, apple crisp) then have a body fat assessment done. Holy Crimany! Way to jerk my big ole bummer back into reality! I met with a personal trainer on Saturday morning (8am I know-I don't want to talk about it) to set up proper program to firm up and learn how to "train smarter, not harder". I mean just hear me out on this. I'm not looking to drop 20 lbs or fit into a size 2 (or 4 for that matter) jeans. Just lookin' to make sure that when I do my Miss America wave the underside of my arm doesn't jiggle like my mother-in-laws holiday fruit infused JELLO. Just asking for a little extra assistance in figuring out how to get rid of that "extra texture" I am sporting on my rump-o-la. I am determined after many scrupling hours of flexing in the bathroom mirror that I want more G.I. Jane-like shoulders and triceps before the boating season really begins. So anyway this trainer... he is S-M-A-R-T and is my brave and fearless leader as I begin this fat burning journey. PLUS he promised me he will be able to bounce a quarter off my buttocks when he is done with me (ok ,so not really but a girl can dream can't she?)! I'll keep you posted on the progress, but if you are waiting to see a swim suit photo shoot you are coming to the wrong place-you'll just have to take my word for it! On a serious note: if you are looking for a GREAT personal trainer that will make your body hurt, (in places you didn't even know you could hurt) go see Justin W. at the LTF in the "grove."

Well you calorie consuming/calorie burning bloggers (which ever shoe fits just wear it) come on back again tomorrow for an update on the Belmont Stakes!

Friday, June 6, 2008

Fashion Friday: Gotta Love The Wedge!

Behold. The beloved wedge. Not to be confused with a wedgee (WTF?)! It's like all the stars have aligned and we are left we a shoe fit for fashion and comfort. Too good to be true, I know. So here's my random thoughts on the wedge. These shoes are no longer reserved for the "grandma" types (I use this term loosely as I know some Grandma read my blog and would never wear a pair of these... at least not for another 20-30 years). I know this for fact, because I used to sell shoes in high school at the BIG (used loosely again) Lakewood Mall. Of course my favorite part of the job was the requirement of having to fit these ladies for their S.A.S. shoes. Hot, moist, panty-hosed, bunyoned, corn-topped feet (I'm gagging). That and my inability to ever get the "till," "cash register, " whatever you call it to balance out at the end of the day (I don't do math-of any kind). All done in the name of a 40% discount on shoes! I know! FORTY PERCENT PEEOOPLE! Ok, back to the wedge. Wear these to the office with a pair of Ping-Ping (the bitchy, little, Asian, lady who does tailoring around the corner) tailored trousers. Wear em with your favorite A-line skirt! For cryin' out loud wear them with your favorite jean-e-babies! For God's sake just buy a damn pair already (I know! Permission to hate the girl in the photo granted!).

I gotta run! Working half days on Friday's for the summer is hard work! See you Monday!

Thursday, June 5, 2008

V-Ohhhhh2! Part 2

Ok, so do you get the whole deal about training "smarter" not "harder?" If you had a chance to look a the link yesterday to the heart rate chart you can figure out your approximate Anaerobic Threshold (A.T.) by subtracting your age from 180. Deduct another 10 if you have not been exercising OR add 10 if you have been exercising 4x a week for the past few years. In theory, this gives you a loose guideline as to what "zone" or heart rate you should be working out at to burn F.A.T. not just burn time. Of course this doesn't take into account your weight, gender, overall physical health, etc. If you really wanna nail this thang down you gotta sign up for the Metabolic Testing I was talking about yesterday. The doesn't hurt (too much) and you'll feel just a little prick, a pinch really, right at your pocket book. The first test (remember no passing or failing with this kind-a test) I took is the exercise portion of the test first. Here are the rules: No exercise 24 hours prior (permission to skip a day!!!), no alcohol 24 hours before testing (relax is it gonna kill you sit one night out?), rest well the night prior, eat a healthy snack a few hours before testing AND take the test a the approximate time of day you typically work out. Easy right? Next step... Show up at the club with your heart rate monitor secured snuggly around your chest and hop on the treadmill for a little get up and go. You wear this totally sweet looking mask (ugh, hope that cute boy isn't around) on and for 10 to 15 minutes, you’ll walk or jog on a treadmill at increasing levels of intensity (you basically perform to failure). For those who love a hardcore challenge this will be the one of the coolest things you've done (if not whats a few minutes of hell anyway?!?). The payoff is worth it (I stole this part from the New Leaf site): This is where you’ll learn how many calories your body burns while exercising; whether those calories come mainly from fat, carbs, or a combination of both; and at what intensity level you burn calories most efficiently (I couldn't have said it better myself). The second portion is a resting metabolic test. Same guidelines and rules except you show up in the morning, put your feet up, get comfy and relax. All this testing and semi public humiliation gives you the following data:

The amount of calories your body needs to function, including everything from regulating your body’s hormones to thinking the thoughts (some of them dirty-if I know ya) that run through your mind.
The amount of calories you need to consume each day to achieve your fitness goal, whether that’s weight loss goal or greater athletic performance.
The point, known as your aerobic base heart rate, is the highest intensity at which your body still uses fat as it's dominant fuel (burn baby burn).
The highest sustainable intensity of exercise, known as your threshold, that your body can sustain and still burn fat efficiently (si-a-nar-a thunder thighs).
The rate at which your body absorbs oxygen, which your body requires to burn fat.

Are you as exhausted by all this info as I am? Last little ditty VO2 levels (the higher the number the more amazing the performance). Some fun facts for all you geeks out there:

Lance Armstrong: 85 milliliters of oxygen per kilogram of body weight per minute
Siberian Huskie Sledding Dogs: 240 ml "
34B Cup: 53 ml "
Himalayan Sherpas: 66 ml "
Click here to see how your VO2 number ranks amongst others your same age and gender.

Enough of the serious stuff-just in time for Fashion Friday! See ya tomorrow!

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

V-Ohhhhh-2! Part 1

I'm a freak. I'll step up and admit it. I do stupid things like head out for a run in the pouring rain and lighting, like running 2 marathons (one of which almost, I mean almost, killed me), like volunteering for a skin fold test (who really wants to know how much of your body is fat), or like sitting on a big, Dyna ball instead of an office chair at work. No surprise I was willing to pay too much money ($220.00 in case you too are a freak and wanna give it a try) to have a series of two VO2 test performed on my 147lb frame. And yes, I just openly admitted my weight, on my blog, for everyone to read, and I didn't even flinch when I typed it (I rarely step on a scale, rather I judge based on the fit of my Seven for all Mankind jeans as my litmus test). Ok, here's the ditty about training "smarter" not "harder." AND if you are like me and a complete cardio junky, who loves the endorphins, this is gonna be tough to swallow. Ok, so I'm going to boil this down to the basics and the best news of all is there will be no test at the end. It all boils down to A.T. or Anaerobic Threshold. This my friends is the point at which your bod STOPS burning calories from fat and STARTS burning calories from sugar (carbs). You may be saying burning any calorie in my book is fine, but consider this... your body has way more hours of fuel from fat than hours of fuel from sugar (carbs). So when you are spending your time working out why not target burning calories where they really count? Burn all sugar (carbs) and when you head home to eat (refuel) you'll be right back where you started. This people is why you gotta get a heart rate monitor (I recommend Polar brand-it syncs with most quality cardio equipment) (mine is the model in the photo...pink of course) and you have to know your workout zones and your A.T. I spend about 2/3 of my time (this will depend on your fitness goals) working out in zones 2 or 3 and 1/3 of my time working out at my A.T. (165 beats per minute for me) or above to increase my fitness level and condition the old ticker. Here's where I start sounding like a commercial for Lifetime Fitness. Sure, you can guess your A.T. by looking at your heart rate monitor when your jaw drops and you can only speak 1-2 words without taking a breath. Or by using a heart rate chart as your guide if you aren't up for the testing I am talking about. Follow this link and then download/open the PDF to find your approximate heart rate zones and begin training smarter.

Ok, this is the tip of the iceberg, do you wanna know more? Check out this site for New Leaf (the testing process used by Lifetime). They do a good job of explaining more... I hope I've peaked your interest, cuz tomorrow we talk about the first step in metabolic testing. It's gonna be fun and way less painful than a morning after 3 sets/15 reps of lunges.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

I'm in the Mood!

Not THAT kind of mood, but you know, the MOOD to create! I was recently at Mood Fabrics in NYC (as seen on Project Runway people) and I left feeling inspired! (Don't fret, it's just a 5 minute walk down 7th Ave from the Times Square station to 37th Street!) The newest item on my favorite/wish/gotta-have-it-now list (in case you were looking to buy me a little treat) is a professional dress form. I wanna pin, drape, gather, pleat, wrap and cut fabric to make one of a kind 34B cup styled garments. I'll tackle the sewing part after I figure out how to get this perfectly tailored frock off the mannequin. Anywho, this joint has more (and better quality) fabrics for fashion than I have ever set my green eyes upon! Plus they have incredible buttons and zippers and of course handles for the handbag line I plan on designing. My head was spinning with ideas, if only my execution could hold a candle... I can't wait to get started right after I sleep, eat, work, exercise, clean my house, hang out with my pals, take care of my dog, grocery shop, garden and blog (in no particular order I may add). Rarraaahhhh, fierce!

Monday, June 2, 2008

Pay it forward

I'm a firm believer if good karma. Pay it forward whenever you have the opportunity and you'll reap the benes in the end. I'm not talking about hours upon hours of community service (although some of that does the heart good too), but I'm really preaching about the little stuff. Like offering to help someone who looks lost in the NYC subway system before they have to ask. Sort of like helping someone with children to carry a heavy bag to their car since they clearly already have their hands full. Exactly like picking up a lost dog walking in the middle of the road before they get hit by a car then calling the number on the tag so they can get home safe (been there done this numerous times). Just like telling a veteran "thanks" for your service and for looking after all of us (Jerrid is sooo good at this). So here's a little example of how it all comes back around. Finally, today we dug out our swimsuits (yikes), packed our lunch, and loaded up the dog for a cruise on the boat (long "o" since I'm a true Midwesterner). What is better than a day on one of the 10,000 lakes when the sun is a shinin' and the thermometer reads 85 degrees? We get to launch, all jazzed and I'm ready to break in my new wet suit. My hubby backs the trailer in like an old pro, I turn the key and... nothing happens. We fiddle-fart with the battery like we know something about motors (not) and then jerk the boat out of the water in frustration. On land we tinker with the bolts and now we see signs the day is not a total bust. Take two, my hubby backs-r-on-down again, I turn the key and we get a little somethin' more, but alas... it still doesn't start. This time we "pop" (you know who you are) the trailer out of the water with tires on fire. This time, barely speaking to one another, we start unpacking all our gear so we can head home with our tails between our legs. Cue the entrance of a true good ole guy. This "MN Nice" stranger asks if we wouldn't mind a little help with trying to get the Glastron started?!? Of course, desperate, we immediately accept. To make an already long story somewhat shorter, he hooks up his spare battery and sends us on our way to "have a good afternoon." He says, "ah, I'm not worried about it, you'll get it back to me sometime." Is that cool or what? This is what I am speaking of people. You do a good deed for a stranger in need and rest easy knowing when "your back needs scratching" good karma will swing back your way. Git! Go on now and spread the good word!

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Headline: Wearing White: Leagalized!

Hi kids! Happy Fashion Sunday night at 10pm. Sorry I'm late. I know, I missed you too. Well better late than never, huh? You didn't really think I would leave you completely S-O-L without a little tidbit of fashion advise for the week did ya, huh, huh? Ok. It's sweet, simple, classic and clean. AND since it's after Memorial day feel free to break out the white like a virgin bride. A white Birkin bag (if you suddenly fell upon a little cash)-go Posh! Bleached britches-yes! White pearly-pearls-oh for sure! Crispy white shirts (NO cream-style corn yellow pit stains ever)-absolutely! White 80's pumps-OMG no (sorry). Ok, fine that's it. It's a school night-what did you expect? Go to bed already.