Tuesday, January 27, 2009
My friend Heather sent me this hilarious joke. This in particular is dedicated to my Cavalier friend who gets tired of me telling Catholic jokes (I figure I can tell as many as my brain can retain considering I'm Catholic too). So, anywho it's da Lutran's turn for a little humor.
WE ARE PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE LUTHERAN AIRLINES IS NOW OPERATING IN MINNYSOTA! ALSO SERVING VISCONSIN, NORDERN MITCHIGEN, NORT & SOUT DAKOTA
If you are travelin soon, consider Lutran Air, the no-frills airline. You're all in da same boat on Lutran Air, here flyin is a upliftin experience. Dair is no first class on any Lutran Air flight. Meals are potluck. Rows 1 tru 6, bring rolls; 7 tru 15, bring a salad;16 tru 21, a hot dish, and 22-30, a dessert. Basses and tenors please sit in da rear of da aircraft. Everyone is responsible for his or her own baggage. All fares are by free will offering, and da plane will not land til da budget is met. Pay attention to your flight attendant, who vill acquaint you wit dasafety system aboard dis Lutran Air. Okay den, listen up; I'm only gonna say dis vonce: In da event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, I am frankly gonna be real surprised and so vill Captain Olson, because ve fly right around two tousand feet, so loss of cabin pressure would probably mean da Second Coming or someting of dat nature, and I wouldn't bodder with doze liddle masks on da rubber tubes—you're gonna have bigger tings to worry about den dat. Just stuff doze back up in dair liddle holes. Probably da masks fell out because of turbulence which, to be honest wit you, we're gonna have quite a bit of at two tousand feet, sorta like driving across a plowed field, but after a while you get used to it. In da event of a water landing, I'd say forget it. Start saying da Lord's Prayer and just hope you get to da part about forgive us our sins as we forgive dose who sin against us, which some people say 'trespass against us,' but what can you do? Da use of cell phones on da plane is strictly forbidden, not because day may confuse da plane's navigation system, which is by da pants all da way. No, it's because cell phones are a pain in da wazoo, and if God had meant you to use a cell phone, He wudda put your mout on da side of your head. We start lunch right about noon and it's buffet style wit da coffeepot up front. Den we'll have da hymn sing; hymnals are in da seat pockets in front of you. Don't take yours wit you when you go or I am gonna be real upset and I am not kiddin! Right now I'll say Grace:
Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest and let deze gifts to us be blessed. Fader, Son, and Holy Ghost, may we land in Dulut or pretty close.
Now seriously, tell me that isn't funny?!?
Monday, January 26, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
...but even a good sport can only be a good sport so long...
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
Friday, January 9, 2009
Happy Fashion Friday. I know, I know. Today I am supposed to produce some useless fashion info that you likely never ahere to. But, I'm busy. Busy working on New Year's resolutions. I thought I better get them in writing before I cast them off as lost causes. NYE this year was a little different than years past for a few reasons. A. I stayed awake waaaay past midnight. B. I tried a on a couple of Mexican traditions for size. C. Instead of trudging through the snow I shuffled through the sand. MOM and I rang in the New Year in prime time style this year. On the beach for a fiesta fit for the 2 queens we are. Lucky for us the cute, little (& when I say little I mean it) Mexican waiter had a little, "thing," for me. N-E-V-E-R in all of Mexican history has a table received better service under the, "open bar," philosophy. You can tell by the gloss in my eyes we took full advantage (of the open bar, NOT the waiters advances). We dined on lobster bisque, shrimp the size of my palms and pina coladas after pina coladas after, well you get the picture. So back to the new traditions. Each guest writes a wish for 2009 and attaches it to a balloon. At the stroke of midnight the entire clan releases the balloons over the ocean in attempt to make the wish come true and pollute our natural resources. I of course, wished for Health, Happiness and all 6 Power Ball Numbers. Then this happened. Fireworks, waves crashing in. The steamy, salty air flushing our dewy cheeks. Soooo romantic - if you weren't there with your MOM.
What NYE fiesta wouldn't be complete with a mantra of American tunes blasting across the bay for a beach side dance party? Now, I had consumed my fair share of, "toddies," but I was no where near catching up with this drunk dancer...
We laughed, we drank, we shared a truly great mother-daughter memory. And then we got the hell outta there as soon as MOM spotted her Mexican stalker (Sebastian) for fear he would make her dance. "Leen-da," as he so lovinly refered to her, has never left a party so fast in her life.
Ok, so real resolutions... Drink more water, eat better and overcome all challenges with a positive attitude AND all 6 Power Ball numbers (someone has to win). Happy Friday!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Ohhhh, Mama Mia... What did we do before we could capture bathing suit videos on our digital cameras?!? BTW, it's nine degrees here. Nine, 9, niiiiinnnnnneeee! Remind me why we live here instead of some tropical paradise?
Tomorrow, we talk resolutions. No more putting it off, 2009 is here and now. Get off your hump and make, "it," happen.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Tomorrow a MOM beach video-hilarious.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Thursday, January 1, 2009
...while we may be drinking beer and sipping fruity drinks with umbrellas don't expect us to fall for this trick. Well, on second thought don't expect to see me, but you never can be too certain about MOM. I'll bring you home a baggy of sand and a 3 for $9.99 t-shirt.
PS Happy New Year. Can't wait to talk resolutions with you. Were do we even begin?!?