Friday, April 24, 2009
BREAKING NEWS! Introducing the 32C cup?!?
I must start out with a disclaimer. One of my most loyal readers is my fabulous father-in-law. While I have been seriously letting him down lately with slim postings this may be too much information for him. Sorry Craig-er read on at the risk of knowing waaaay more than you want to!
Let me preface by saying I have been living a lie. A complete and total fallacy. I have been writing, living and, "hoisting,"
around what I have believed to be a pair of 34B cups. Until late last week. I swooped into a great sale at Macy's to stock up on some new (and long over due) over-the-shoulder-boulder(or in my case pebble)-holders. I had no idea my life would be forever changed by a Russian bra saleswoman. She spoke quickly, swiftly and I deciphered about 82% of what she said. As I awaiting the clearance of my check card she starred directly into my nipples and asked the dreaded question. "I measure you?" I bet my eyes were as big as DD cups as I quickly calculated how to politely say, "no frickin way you-former-Soviet-Union-er-you." But, I caved. I mean Oprah made it known-MOST woman are wearing the wrong size undergarments. She swung her tape measure, measured this, that and the other things and before you know it she proclaimed her professional assessment in her heavy brogue, "tirty-two C cup!" Holy crap! I was stunned as she explained the logistics of the cup placement and strap alignment. Nodding my head and pretending to understand, hoping she would unlock the fitting room door and show herself out. I did just as the bra-dictator told me and before you could say Mikhail Sergeyevich Gorbachev, I was a believer. A better fit, a more comfortable fit and above all else a C cup.
Now, the real question arises? What to do about Ramblings of a 34B cup, huh, huh, huh?
And another little secret... These are the best bras ever! Wire free support and enough padding to protect against chilly weather poke throughs! With a Macy's sale and coupon I scored 5 (count em F-I-V-E great bras for 85 bucks! Love it!