The artist formerly known as...

... the 34B cup. I really truly think in my previous life I was a rocker. I mean I have stage presence oozing out of my every pore. It's the talent thing I seem to be lacking. BUT, that is all about to change people! That's right. Request your autographed photos and guitar picks now cuz I just might be the next Joan Jett. Last night I had my very first acoustic guitar lesson. I wasn't totally sure what to expect when I showed up at Pitch Fever and the, "lobby," was full of 5th grade boys playing guitar hero. I must admit I was a little apprehensive to admit to my teacher, Tim, that I have never played any sort of musical instrument in my entire life. No piano, no violin and definitely no marching band instruments. I'm about 10 years Tim's senior, but he proved to be a truly fine instructor. I walked out the door 30 minutes later knowing how to hold and tune my guitar (BASICS people-I'm at square one), how to read and play 8 open cords. You know, third finger, sixth string, third fret, second finger, fifth string, second fret, fourth finger, first string, third fret makes the open, "G," cord for example. If only I had the dexterity to contort my metacarpals into the proper positions-I equate it to Twister for your paddie-cakes. But, practice makes perfect and I have six days till guitar 101 take 2. I'm all sorts of jazzed about my new, "Alzheimer's preventative," hobby. Heck, I got home and b-lined to the bathroom to trim every last finger nail to the shortest possible length. I promise (perhaps threaten) a blogger video as soon as I can put a little something something into music.