This laundry won't do itself!

I don't know how I let it get sooo far out of control. One day life is good and the options of available clean underwear are endless. The next day you are standing bare-arse-naked in your closet searching the bin of undies. Upon the first round of digging you pass by the thong which cuts the circulation off to your brain. Forget the granny pants which bequif (did I really just use the word bequif? Did I spell it write? Don't mistake it for... never mind.) the VPL (visible panty line for any new and un-34bcup-educated readers). I'm certainly not going to wear the ones that are too tight in the waist, giving me a sort of spilling over the top feeling. Commando is not an option, at least not today, I'm not quite desperate enough. Why can't I just throw out all these stupid, ill fitting underwear and get on with going to work already. Time check: 6:45am and I gotta hit the road. Options: Speed wash? Hand wash/rinse a pair in the sink and hope my ion blow dryer has enough guts to dry em FAST. Recycle? Flip the back to front or the inside to outside. I'm grossing MYSELF out. Borrow a pair? Can you really tell if I am wearing a pair of boxer briefs under this wool a-line dress? Hose? Wear a pair of tights with a sort of built-in panty kinda thingy. I mean it's there for a reason, right? Right?