Best Deal On Tonka!

No matter which way you slice it Mondays can be a bummer. You can't get any further away from the weekend and Mondays mark the start of 5 count em F.I.V.E. days in a row of waking to a screeching alarm. Damn. I, my friends, have found the second most fabulous Monday thang, aside from my new fav show, Dancing With The Stars. Snicker if you wish, I love that hokey arse show. Anyway, if the Rumba and Tango aren't your cup-o-tea I might just have another way to make your Monday a little brighter. How bout a spot in the sun? Right on the water's edge of Lake Minnetonka? 6 cold Miller Lite bottles ($.99 each!?!)? Two cheeseburgers with all the fixings ($5 buck-er-roos each!?!)? Valet parking and gratuity? All for 26, "skeeters," or dollars as my DAD calls em. I know! Lord Fletcher's boasts some of the best real estate on the water and top notch people watching. Monday nights they pack em in for the best deal in the west suburbs. Go there, bring your cute spouse and embrace a Monday for once already.

A Love/Hate Thang...

Eating healthy. I think it's the difference between me getting rid of 5lbs and staying status quot at 142 pounds of spunk, sass and a tad of cellulite. I don't eat bad necessarily, but I could eat better. So basically, I'm making sure we eat fresh veges and fruits in all the colors of the rainbow daily. At the top of my list is a tender bundle of fresh asparagus. Easy-peasy made on the grill to accompany a char-broiled turkey burger. I just clean em up, drizzle with olive oil and sprinkle with sea salt and fresh ground pepper. Bundle them up in a neat, little, tin foil package and toss them on the barbe. Simmer to perfection in about 15-17 minutes. Yummy-yum-yum. So if you haven't caught on THIS is the LOVE part. Now for the HATE. Doing the body good by consuming this low cal, rich in beta-carotene, vitamins B, C and E, potassium, zinc, iodine and fab folate food has a terrible side effect. Stinky #1 people. Bad, bad, bad smelling urine. Wierd, huh? At least we live in a day and age where I can simply google, "asparagus stinky urine," and find out exactly what the dealio is. This in turn got me thinking... It's a good day for a poll. Let the world know if you are a stinky asparagus pee-er ro not, come on... it'll be fun.

Happy Day MOM!

So, I'm a day behind. I have a good excuse though! I spent the weekend with my MOMMY. We did all the things MOMs and thirty-something daughters like to do together. We got manicures and pedicures... We shopped and lunched... We reminisced and gossiped... We drank enough cocktails to make today feel like rehab.

To my MOM, my MOM-in-law, my Auntie who is like a MOM and every other MAMA under the sun-I hope you had a great Mother's Day full of breakfasts in bed and heartfelt wishes. A round of X's and O's to everyone who turns their head when someone yells, "Heeeey MOM!" at the grocery store! Yesterday was all about you and I hope your perhaps otherwise naughty munchkins (age 3 to 30+) gave ya a break for the day. Happy Mother's Day!

We did it! We came! We ran! We hobbled to Fletcher's and drank Bloody Marys'. We could not have ordered a better day for the 13.1 mile jaunt. Warm, not hot, sun and a pleasantly cool reading on the thermometer. Thankfully the course was beautiful, trailing along Lake Minnetonka which took my mind off of all the hills-sort of. The goal was to just finish the damn thing before they dismantled the balloons from the finish line at 2 hrs and 25 mins. We strolled in easy, breezy, at 2:14: some odd seconds. Over 1,000 people finishing before us and over 500 people finishing after us (thankfully). Thank you to Martina and P-man and Nicki and Henry for picking us up at the finish line and taking us directly to greasy burgers/fries and vodka. Thank you to my Hubby for running with me, when he easily could have taken off and left me in the dust.

FYI: The rest of the afternoon I could be found horizontal, covered in ice packs to remove the heat from my irritated joints.

I wasn't up for the challenge of carrying a camera on the race (sorry). But, take a look at the official slide show and see who was caught strolling through a water station!

Hydrate

I had a New Year's resolution to drink more water, and I did. For a day or two. Then I fell off the wagon just like virtually every other resolution-er did. Hydrating is so important, this I know. Keeps your body running on all cylinders, maintains your mental focus and stimulates your body metabolically along with a whole host of additional benefits. I know, if I could just up my H2O intake I could get rid of the last 3-4 pounds I want to shed AND feel better in general. I mean, this machine can not idle on coffee, Diet Coke and Gin & Tonics alone (although I would like to try it). In my quest I need to up the annie or antie or whatever the hell it is. First, lets state the obvious. Clear, fresh ice. I gotta feel the cold hit the back of my throat and slide all the way down my esopogus. The secret is in the slices-orange, lemon, lime, cucumber, etc. I'm keeping a pitcher of aqua in my fridge at all times snazzied up with fresh produce, adding just a hint of fresh flavor. If this doesn't keep me on the straight and narrow I'm a lost cause. Go on-adjust the recipe as you see fit and drink up my friends.

BREAKING NEWS! Introducing the 32C cup?!?

I must start out with a disclaimer. One of my most loyal readers is my fabulous father-in-law. While I have been seriously letting him down lately with slim postings this may be too much information for him. Sorry Craig-er read on at the risk of knowing waaaay more than you want to!

Let me preface by saying I have been living a lie. A complete and total fallacy. I have been writing, living and, "hoisting,"
around what I have believed to be a pair of 34B cups. Until late last week. I swooped into a great sale at Macy's to stock up on some new (and long over due) over-the-shoulder-boulder(or in my case pebble)-holders. I had no idea my life would be forever changed by a Russian bra saleswoman. She spoke quickly, swiftly and I deciphered about 82% of what she said. As I awaiting the clearance of my check card she starred directly into my nipples and asked the dreaded question. "I measure you?" I bet my eyes were as big as DD cups as I quickly calculated how to politely say, "no frickin way you-former-Soviet-Union-er-you." But, I caved. I mean Oprah made it known-MOST woman are wearing the wrong size undergarments. She swung her tape measure, measured this, that and the other things and before you know it she proclaimed her professional assessment in her heavy brogue, "tirty-two C cup!" Holy crap! I was stunned as she explained the logistics of the cup placement and strap alignment. Nodding my head and pretending to understand, hoping she would unlock the fitting room door and show herself out. I did just as the bra-dictator told me and before you could say Mikhail Sergeyevich Gorbachev, I was a believer. A better fit, a more comfortable fit and above all else a C cup.

Now, the real question arises? What to do about Ramblings of a 34B cup, huh, huh, huh?

And another little secret... These are the best bras ever! Wire free support and enough padding to protect against chilly weather poke throughs! With a Macy's sale and coupon I scored 5 (count em F-I-V-E great bras for 85 bucks! Love it!

A Birthday Celebration for the Nick-ster!

One of my best buddy-o-pals had a birthday over the weekend. She claims she's a C cup, but I think she'd be a D if she met the Russian lingerie lady at Macy's (more info on this tomorrow). Anywho, I love her regardless of cup size, and made a special birthday cake to commemorate the event. I wonder when the kids will start asking questions about funny things like 3-D cakes? I also wonder when my friends (and myself, gulp) got old enough to need two boxes of birthday cake candles.? I mean, when did we all decide to grow up? Great birthday party, great weather for porch living and an amazing birthday girl. Happy birthday Nicki!