Halls: decked.

I'm soooo on it this year. I drug the prelite 9' tree outta storage, plugged her in and covered every square inch of it with bling. The stockings are hung from the chimney with care and 70% of my shopping is DONE, wrapped and stuffed under the fake fir branches. My holiday photo has been taken, cards are addressed, stamped and in the mailbox with the flag up. My card stand (which is actually a retro bar-chip-rack-holder-thing) is up waiting for all ya'll slackers to get er together and send me mine. If I hear the Herberger's commercial one more time, "Give jooyyy, Give jooyy, Give jooyy, Give jooyy. GIVE JOY! Come to the right place!" I swear I'm gonna put my size 10 right through the screen of the TV (so, everyone has a little holiday aggression, right?) My exterior lights are up and flip on and off manually until I can figure out how to use the damn timer... again. My window boxes are billowing with $106.00 of spruce tops, rose hips and other coniferous branches (hi-way robbery, if I do say so myself). And those little indoor/outdoor white light manufacturers? They are a bunch of damn liars. One light goes out and the rest stay lite? I call B.S. on that! Once I get my tail in gear and throw these out I can officially sit back sip a, "hot toddy," and wait for Santa to squeeze his big, red, butt down the chimney.