Fashion Friday: Aretha's Hat Trick.

Hatty Fashion Friday to you! Lets cut to the chase and talk about it. Aretha's inauguration day hat. Love it or hate it? I dunno... I'm on the fence post about this big-bad-arsed-bow of a hat. I LOVE the hat on this cat or this cat in fact. On cow? Just above Dick's brow? Well, it's all fun and games until someone gets stuck wearing it-so go on. Go to buzzfeed and if you have some photo-shopping capabilities don the snazzy hat on an unsuspecting friend. Then cast your official vote to the right. Have a super fantastic weekend.

Fashion Friday: So bad it's good.

Happy Fashion Friday you-holiday-jingle-bellers-you! Today, a few words about the best/worst holiday outfit evah: the ornamental sweater. It's all about embellishments. Buttons, fringe, sequins and bells, oh my! A personal fav is this frosty (shown left) who is apparently playing a little peek-a-boo from inside this cardigan. Cute and sassy all rolled into one... just like me?!? Be sure to match this little number with your holiday dickie and a pair of ornament dangle earrings. Now, even tastier is the ever popular circa 1984 sweater vest. Goes perfectly with a holiday turtle neck and a pair of Uncle Eddie polyester trousers. If you've held onto one of these festive classics since the 80's, congratulations you are officially a bonafied pack rat. If you yearn for the sweater of decades gone by, don't fret. Stop by the nearest Ragstock for a plethora, "piled out," options or swing by the local Goodwill for a look-see at what folks have finally decided to part with. Just don't miss your opportunity to sport this classic at the office party, block party or local-yocal-towney bar. It's sure to be a hit.

Fashion Friday: Today's Favored Accessory

Happy Friday kids of legal drinking age! Today's Fashion Friday post features my favored accessory for the weekend... any cold, wet, alcoholic beve will do. Fire me an icy cold one, or a perfectly shaken not stirred one, a finely garnished one, an exotic one, a $10 bottle one or hell gimme one a these M-F'ers. All I know is we'll be needing a round of these in the morning! Now, we all know you can't consume all of these in one bender booze session or you'll end up sleeping with john (been there, done that)(as in the crapper people, come on). So pick one or two (beer after liqueur never been sicker, liqueur before beer you're in the clear) and forget about all that moderation nonsense. Each and every cocktail-a-licious accessory comes with foggy eyes, a shiny forehead, a fat tongue and a severely impaired sense of judgement. Doesn't that sound fun?!?

Fashion Friday: Blaze on.

Hip-happiest Fashion Friday to you! If you live in the getting-chillier-every-single-morning-Midwest, first off, sorry about that. Second, I hope you have fully transferred any linen to the back of your closet and wool or velvet to the front. Just because the, "rise and shine," temps are below freezing doesn't mean you have permission to wear a sleeping bag everyday. Autumn is the perfect time to break out the blazer. Maybe I should clarify... The UPDATED blazer. If your closet could be used as, "wardrobe," for the next Designing Women cast we need to talk. No shoulder pads. No pant suits. Just blazers. Here's a few rules to, "blaze," by:

No.1 Check the shoulders: Make sure the jacket doesn't extend beyond your shoulder creating the, "borrowed from my boyfriend," look. Unless, of course, you are doing the walk of shame or trying to do the, "borrowed from my boyfriend," look.

No. 2 Check the waist: If you are pear shape look for jackets which, "pinch," in a bit to define your, "little in the middle." If you have a larger midsection choose a jacket with a, "straight," fit.

No. 3 Check the length: Play with the proper jacket length to create the illusion of a longer torso if you are a bit more stout. If you have a longer, leaner torso (we hate you) wear a jacket cut right to mid waist and pull on a pair of low rise trousers. Keep in mind no tummy should be bared, so your shirt needs to be long enough tuck completely as to avoid the, "whale tail."

No. 4 Matching set not needed: Leave the Hil-ster to wear the pant suits. Pair your blazer with your flav-o-rito pair of blue jeans and a thin scarf for softness.

No. 5 Remember your fly: So it has nothing to do with your jacket, but just a friendly reminder. Be sure to check your fly after each and every restroom visit. I spy 'd an open barn door today in the sky way and didn't have the heart to tell her.

Happy weekend...

Belated Fashion Friday: East Coast Trend

Oh for Pete's sake, better late than never people! I'm a woman of my word so today we have a belated Fashion Friday tidbit for you. The B cups have arrived back in msp toting a little East coast fashion update in my carry on. EVERYONE (who is seemingly anyone) is doing the, "tuck." Channel your inner English rider because it's all the rage this season. Some heels, but mostly flat or wedge heeled slouchy (sometimes slim-biatches) leather boots in black, brown, deep blue or grey are pounding the pavement in the big apple. So sorry if you broke your piggy bank last year on a pair of these but alas the Uggs are out and these are in. Ok, fine still a few Ugg-ly boot spottings here and there but they are outnumbered 10 to 1 (at least). I can tell your mad. You think the, "tuck," won't work since you aren't a stovepipe-jean-kinda-gal, right? Think again. I am anything but the skinny jean type and I found the perfect pair to match up with my boots at JCrew. Try the, "Matchstick," fit which is definitely and straighter jean, but without the super low rise which leaves you susceptible to the, "quarter slot." I know you are gonna poop your, "Matchsticks," but this is coming back people! I know! But wait, there's more. The legging will not die and is currently being paired with these same boots and longer, bum covering, sweaters or T's and short, leather biker-esque jackets. Before you get all jazzed up about not having these items in your current line up consider this. The staple colors of brown, grey, black and white are still totally, "it," and can be mixed and matched in any combos. Black leggings, grey sweater, brown saddle boots? Yes! White shirt, brown jacket, dark blue jeans and black boots? Yes! Seriously, all neutrals are alike and can be paired how ever your little heart desires.

Speaking of hearts-tune in tomorrow for a tiney-eeney dose of romance.

Fashion Friday: Fall Footwear

Pack away your sling backs and peep toes-it's time for a little more coverage. Today we focus in on some of my personal favs with a focus on comfort. All the featured styles are just as comfy as your Converse All Stars with a dressy-casual-classy-sorta-thingy-rockin'-on. No 3" heels to get caught in your pant leg (seriously, I almost broke my arm) and no sore tootsies. A pic is worth a thousand words, righto? So I'm gonna try and keep my jaw flappin' to a minimum and do some, "show," minus too much, "tell." Boots. Love. Ankle. Oh-my-goodness. Pair em with a straighter leg jean and tuck your pant leg safely into the boot. Cute. Flats. Adorned. Simple Style. Athletic. My favorite "pop" of color. All flat, all fun. My fav fall site to do a little online shoe shopping is Seychelle. These peeps feature fab footwear, that fit well and won't draw your hubby's attention the the check card balance. Check out their grey, scrunchie ankle boot, my beloved wedge perfect with jeans, the MUST have staple for the season. Happy shopping!

Fashion Friday: Denim, "on a dime."

With the world economy sliding and everyone seemingly pinching the hell outta every George Washington we MUST pursue economical fashion. By this I don’t mean pulling the crap out of the archives in your closet (think huge flannel shirts, jackets w/shoulder pads or tapered leg jeans)(BTW, if you still have any of this stuff-purge immediately). I mean finding up to date styles at a fraction of the cost thus allowing us all to maintain our necessary means for survival (i.e. buying a venti, non-fat, sugar-free, vanilla latte everyday). Today we talk about THE most important item in your closet. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. You are nothing without a pair of GREAT fitting jeans. Get rid of all the ill fitting denim, and restock your closet with one or two staple pair, which make you feel like a million bucks (without spending $100!). You read it right. Find the best designer jeans for less than $100-actually for just over $50! Impossible? I think, actually know, not! I have never been a big consignment shopper (not that there is anything wrong with it). I’ve just never thought of stopping to dig around, and if I am perfectly honest, the smell of Goodwill really bugs me. But, as I weed out the, “no’s,” from my closet for the fall I was feeling a bit guilty about all the items with price tags still attached. I thought I would try my hand at consigning my things at Turnstyle. As they flipped though the pile of things I was dropping off I spotted a rack of jeans labeled, “designer denim.” I was shocked to see pair after pair of my personal favs! Seven for all Mankind, Citizens of Humanity, Joe’s Jeans and the list goes on and on. Some I recognized as the styles/cuts from 2008 FOR $59.99 INSTEAD OF $175.99 (if you wear a 31 or 32 waist RUN don’t walk to Turnstyle Plymouth)! That is a deal too good to pass up (and no funny Goodwill smells either)! So here are a few suggestions for places to put on your short list: Rodeo Drive in St. Louis Park, Turnstyle or Plato’s Closet both with many metro locations. Happy hunting!

Fashion Friday: Fall Scruf

For whatever reason fall seems to be the season of stubble. I guess it just goes hand in hand with dark indigo denim and nubby wool sweaters. Perhaps its an added feature of insulation protecting from the fresh fall air. I dunno but I'm for it-kinda. I'm all about the third day. The third day dans shaving leaves the, "not too much, not too little," amount of 5 o'clock shadowness. Day three isn't quite as prickly and just on the verge of looking slightly groomed vs manly-man rugged. A smooch isn't going to leave your face whisker burned, just, dare I say, tingly? My squeeze is a perfect example of polished rugged. OK, so here's the inside trick. The neck must be clean. The scruff should be trimmed following the jaw line under the chin. Are you with me on this? Hate it? Love it? Totally over it cuz THE only important thing to know is it's Friday? Cast your vote to the right. See ya'll Monday!

Fashion Friday: Punches of color!

You must know me by now. It has been 147 blogs posts since we first met (and you still haven't made it to first base-bummer). I love all things girlie: clothes, shoes, jewelry, feelings, you know, the essentials. You won't be shocked to find out my two new favorite accessories for the fall are not only hand made by a former 10,000 -laker-artist, but my favorite sick, stomach bile yellow. I LOVE THEM! Last weekend the Maple Grove Arts Council (fancy, huh?) hosted an art fair for all those creative spirits in the Grove. I scored a handcrafted beaded cuff and a leather ring for $35.00 (actually, my MOM paid for them and I "forgot" to pay her back so they were technically free.)! I added my new favorite "punch" of color to a charcoal gray pencil skirt and tee with a skinny black belt (it needed a punch indeed). So permission to go crazy and jazz up your typical uni with a funky splash of color. Check out Rock and Soul jewelry and grab a leather ring of your own (plus support your local starving artists). Have a rockin' weekend and be sure to report back for a weekend update on Monday.

Fashion Friday: Vested Interest

Happy Fashion Friday kids! Though I hate to admit it, autumn is knockin' at our door. Soon enough we will all be taking a lazy, hangover Sunday morning (it's not just me is it?) to transfer our closet from Summer to Fall. I of course have a "vested interest" in trying to keep you up to date on some of the fall favs. Right at the top of my list is the ultra cool, ultra tailored, yummo-licious, gotta-have-it vest. I'm not talking about a boxy vest like America's favorite lesbian people (BTW, if you found a whisper of a pun in that sentence, congrats on being as sick minded as me). To the contrary the vest of the season is lower cut, typically mid-boobie to bottom cleavage, if you know what I mean. Perfect with a long, lean, classic tee, a GREAT pair of jeans and some sassy heels (NOT acceptable with Chuck Taylors). You've got the warm weekend to sport it with a tank and add your razzle dazzle with a chunky bracelet or necklace. Or for all you workin' women layer it over one of your many collared, button-up shirts. It's in! Work it! Own it! Wear one Monday (after your fabulous weekend)!

Fashion Friday: Smokin' H.O.T.

If this seems a little mean, well, it is. My colleague really, truly snapped this photo on his iphone. Don't believe me? Yesterday morning on 59th Street between Lexington and 3rd Ave. We got busted by the woman walking next to us who said we "outta be ashamed of ourselves" when we got the giggles. We figured as long as we didn't get her face on camera we can't be sued... But seriously people. When you travel, especially to trend setting cities like New York, Los Angeles or Miami, you must think just a little bit harder about what you are going to wear. I always put forth a bit more effort when in the city. I step it up a notch to pull the best of the best out of my line up and think the "fit" through from head to toe. Cruising through the Upper East Side I pass women with the most fabulous couture get ups and wish they would just get a big pimple (spiteful I am). And just when you think you can't take anymore you pass this gal. The only thing smokin' hot here is the cherry on her cigarette! Figure aside, cuz it may be beyond her control, why color coordinate this hot pink mess AND leave thinking you look ready to face the city??? Honey, sweetie, pumpkin pie we gotta get you some fashion help pronto! First, make sure whatever you are pulling over your head and up over your hips is well tailored and flattering to whatever form you are. It's possible! You don't have to be Kate Moss to look great in clothes. But lets face it we can't all wear what the "Twiggy's" of the world can. Invest in pieces that FIT and FLATTER! The number on the tag in the back doesn't matter as long as you wear it and it doesn't wear you!

See your best dressed you on Monday!

T G I (Fashion) F !

Today, Fashion Friday, July 18th, I air my grievences to the ill pressed shirt. I crinkle my nose at a shirt in need of a hot, steamy, P.J. (press job my peeps). Ironing is an art form folks, and unless you get a third degree burn you probably aren't doing it right. You gotta get in there, between each and every button, around both CLEAN cuffs, the inside and the outside of the collar and then hit it again when it is folded into proper position. It's an investment in time and a commitment to looking polished (boys and girls alike). Bottom line: No shirt should have more wrinkles than my grandma (sorry grandma-she doesn't read blogs anyway). That is unless the look is crinkly, wrinkly (I know, it's a lot to grasp, be patient). If you are not 100% on board with becoming one with the ironing board then listen up. A little birdie (actually his MOM) told me about the greatest no iron shirts on this planet for X chromosomes AND XY chromosomes. Brooks Brothers has invented the miracle shirt, which is promised to look good right our of the dryer or right out of the pile on your bedroom floor (I snuck a peek in your room-shame on you). You'll look all starched and ready to take on corporate America without having to fire up your Rowanda (my hubby will breath a sigh of relief). Better git while the gitting is good cuz they are on sale now-ish. See you and your starched and pressed undies Mon-dee. Have a helluva weekend.

BTW!!! Congrats to Krissy, my-soon-to-be-pregnant-boobed (you know what that means)-friend, who is having a baby (again)!

Fashion Friday: The revival of the "side-kick"

You read it right. It's baaaack! If you're like me your first go around with the side pony was rockin' out at Rollaway U.S.A. signing, "You must be my lucky star,‘cause you shine on me wherever you are..." But this is a different sort of sideways up do, not anything like the "I love the 80's" thang. The new was to sport the side kick is down low, just behind you ear and trailing down your shoulder to your bosom (if your lucky enough to have bosoms). A perfect compliment to your Zac Posen evening gown (work with me here). Wear it sleek with longer bangs or no bangs like Mrs. Kidman-Urban (what the hell is she thinking callin' her new bambino Sunday, and wasn't she born on a Monday?!?). A great way to polish your look for day. Wear it with big ringlets twisting across your clavicle like the ever famous (who knows why) Lauren Conrad. Rock it out like Electra-baby with messy no-do-hairdo with wavy bangs and tussled tendrils. If your thinking this is advise can't be for me, I don't have the length to make it around the back over the shoulder refer back to one of my first blog posts. Unleash that inner diva! But gents a gentle warning... No matter what you do, no matter how much you drink, no matter what the "dare" payout is-don't, repeat, don't do this. Girls only! Work it, rock it, own that reinvented style.

Speaking of workin' and rockin' it do just that with your weekend. I'll give you my full report on Monday. TTFN!

Happy Fashion Friday AND Hip Happy 4th O' July!

Happy Fashion Friday AND Happy Fourth of July to you! A quick, little blog post today as we all rush to area, parks, campgrounds, lakes and backyard BBQ's. A reminder as we honor Independence Day... This day is not just an excuse to drink icy, cold beer before 5pm, although it certainly doesn't hurt, its a celebration of the adoption of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776, declaring independence from the Kingdom of Great Britain. So as we commemorate this great day be sure to always, always WEAR your pride of being an American on your sleeve & in your heart (just not on your butt). Hope you all have a happy and safe holiday weekend!

Fashion Friday! Retro-Schmetro!

Happy Fashion Friday everyone-not a minute too soon if you ask me! I bet ya'll have been there before (ok all the gals and drag queen readers-sorry boys)... Searching high and low for the perfect dress. I LOVE to shop with the best of em (a self proclaimed black-belt (gold belt), if I may), but the thought of wasting away a day at the MOA, bored by the same old same old makes my tummy turn. Instead I always prefer searching out a "throw-back," for the anticipated fete. I wore this great, little, black, 60's mod, sequined, mini dress to an awards banquet with a "black and white" ball theme and had blast! My fav way to hunt for the just right retro dress is Ebay. But, you gotta plan ahead gals (and queens), start shopping ASAP, and then calmly sit back while the rest of your posse freaks out 2 days prior to the gig. I can think of 1,000 reasons for you to seek out the perfect vintage frock rather than something, "off the rack," at the nearest department store. Rather than put you through all that pomp and circumstance I'll list the top 5-plus I love ya and all, but I got things to do...
one. The chances of the dreaded run in with another broad wearing your same dress is as likely as striking Texas Tea in your backyard.
two. Save the earth! Buying vintage is my opinion the funnest (yes, funnest) way to recycle.
three. Save greenbacks. The occasional "WOW-a-ZA" dress will ring in some serious dough, but typically vintage is affordable.
and four. This little ditty has history. For all you know if was wadded up in a ball on the floor of some guys '57 Chevy on prom night. Maybe this is your, "lucky" dress too!
five. It's fun to say, "oh, it's vintage" when some hootchie inquires about where she can get a dress like yours.
five and 1/2. In the end I'm just one gal tryin' to give a cute dress a new closet to call home. You should adopt too, it just the right thing to do!

Fashion Friday: Gotta Love The Wedge!

Behold. The beloved wedge. Not to be confused with a wedgee (WTF?)! It's like all the stars have aligned and we are left we a shoe fit for fashion and comfort. Too good to be true, I know. So here's my random thoughts on the wedge. These shoes are no longer reserved for the "grandma" types (I use this term loosely as I know some Grandma read my blog and would never wear a pair of these... at least not for another 20-30 years). I know this for fact, because I used to sell shoes in high school at the BIG (used loosely again) Lakewood Mall. Of course my favorite part of the job was the requirement of having to fit these ladies for their S.A.S. shoes. Hot, moist, panty-hosed, bunyoned, corn-topped feet (I'm gagging). That and my inability to ever get the "till," "cash register, " whatever you call it to balance out at the end of the day (I don't do math-of any kind). All done in the name of a 40% discount on shoes! I know! FORTY PERCENT PEEOOPLE! Ok, back to the wedge. Wear these to the office with a pair of Ping-Ping (the bitchy, little, Asian, lady who does tailoring around the corner) tailored trousers. Wear em with your favorite A-line skirt! For cryin' out loud wear them with your favorite jean-e-babies! For God's sake just buy a damn pair already (I know! Permission to hate the girl in the photo granted!).

I gotta run! Working half days on Friday's for the summer is hard work! See you Monday!

Headline: Wearing White: Leagalized!

Hi kids! Happy Fashion Sunday night at 10pm. Sorry I'm late. I know, I missed you too. Well better late than never, huh? You didn't really think I would leave you completely S-O-L without a little tidbit of fashion advise for the week did ya, huh, huh? Ok. It's sweet, simple, classic and clean. AND since it's after Memorial day feel free to break out the white like a virgin bride. A white Birkin bag (if you suddenly fell upon a little cash)-go Posh! Bleached britches-yes! White pearly-pearls-oh for sure! Crispy white shirts (NO cream-style corn yellow pit stains ever)-absolutely! White 80's pumps-OMG no (sorry). Ok, fine that's it. It's a school night-what did you expect? Go to bed already.

It's Fashion Friday: Tie One On

It's Friday people. Ya'll should be rejoicing in the fact it is a long weekend (4 days for me!). What better way to kick start the weekend than Fashion Friday. Let's run with it shall we?

Spring is great don't get me wrong, but it does pose certain wardrobe challenges. Too chilly in the morning when you leave home for full summer gear, but too temperate in the afternoons to still sport winter garbs. I know, I know enough to drive anyone nug-ing futs. Here's how you handle this fashion dilemma. Scale your outfit back to the basics. A great fitted tee with a fun, scarf (not the winter kind) strategically tied around your neck (I'm not talking John Wayne style either). Are you following me? Ok then, how about with a simple tank? Maybe you're in the mood for a lil' longer style sash-e-poo. Do as Ashley does. Or as Paula does (even though she bugs sometimes). What Pucci says I obey. Wrap a skinny scarf around waist for an insta-belt. I have a great scarf tied on the handle of my handbag (or suitcase as Woody calls it). It's simple, easy and almost as much fun as a Chia Pet. And that my friends, is a wrap!

Fashion Friday: It's a no-no!

Happy Fashion Friday all my blogging spring chickens. Today, a simple rule. It's black and white as I see it. No greyish boundaries when it comes to the topic of socks + sandals. Its just NOT ok. Spring has finally sprung. Yes, we may be a little freaked out about letting the "piggies go to market" but it doesn't give anyone license to do this. The way I see it you are never gonna be able to put your best foot forward when you leave your house looking like this nim-rod. Whether you are strutting down the runway or if you are making an emergency stop at Lund's-the only fashion-rule-breaker I am letting off the hook looks like this. So spend a little time this weekend buffing and shining so you can do your sandals (and your b cup) proud.

TTFN see you on Monday!

Fashion Friday: Whatever blows your skirt up!

Happy Fashion Friday all my bare legged (and PALE as all get up if you're like me) bloggers! Today's post is in honor of one of my favorite things in this whole, wide, world. Taaa-Daaa! The "A" line skirt! From this day forward until the Fall season knocks on my door I will be wearing my coveted A line style skirts. This style skirt is perfect on most any body type and is the best fit (I think) if you happen to be built like the b cups (little in the middle with A LOT of junk in the trunk). You really can't go wrong with the trusty ole A line unless you are a Shorty McShorterton. If you are vertically challenged be sure you select an A line that shows a little skin. Let me break it down for ya'll. Just above the knee: Always. Just in the middle of the knee: Sometimes. Below the knee: Never for you little ladies (tea length only if you long legged (bii-atches). Personally the more retro or ugly the pattern the better! Now is the time people-go crazy with the A line! I love the extra ventilation they provide during those dog days of summer (whenever that decides to arrive). I would buy all of these skirts I just showed you if my husbby wouldn't divorce me for blowing the bank and for sucking up even more closet space. Just yesterday I wore one of my favorites (purchased by my hubby-thanks babe) with a fun, vintage, flower pin clipped onto my sash-sorta-belt. And boys because I am an equal opportunity blogger-you can wear a skirt too, see?

Blow back in on Monday for a whiter and brigher b cup! Have a great weekend.