Be veh-wee, veh-wee quiet.

This whole duck hunting thing... It's complex in nature. I've never really understood it all. I would never have conceded if my Hubby hadn't finally admitted face paint is not mandatory. Gear for starters... More gear is required than I ever knew even existed (no wonder the Cabela's bill is what it is each month). First, you have waders so you can slither through the icy water to put out bags upon bags of decoys. One must always remember what goes out must come back in. Second, you can't forget you're four legged friends camo (apparently ALWAYS Advantage Camouflage) so she doesn't sink (or catch a chill). Finally, multiply all of that by two in case your spouse decides to (gets talked into) tag along. The next part is the worst... You gotta, "think like a gopher," and get up at the butt crack of dawn in the most inclement of conditions. No doubt, I would rather stay nuzzled in here. After all is said and done it's a game of calling (try the, "lonesome hen," it goes, "digga, digga, dooga, dooga) and waiting, and waiting and waiting. Or film a video so you will

NEVER be invited back again...