This is TWINS territory!

So, the other weekend a troop of true-blue Twinkies fans (and a few stinky Brewers fans too:) took in 9 innings for the final season of MN baseball in the inflatable toilet. I tried my hardest to get noticed by Bert. I do hereby pronounce Bert a stupid poop for not circling me. Final answer. I even hooked Lola up with a sign since she made the long, hard trek from the lone star state. He didn't see her either. I might be willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, since perhaps the nosebleeds are out of camera range. What ever makes you feel better, right? Pman found a little comfort in a root beer float and a bag of Cracker Jacks. Patrick ate one of those ever famous sundaes consumed via wooden spatula. No word on when either of the tike's came down from their sugar induced highs. Also, no word on how many $6.75 Miller Lights were consumed... Gotta keep ya guessin'.

Best Deal On Tonka!

No matter which way you slice it Mondays can be a bummer. You can't get any further away from the weekend and Mondays mark the start of 5 count em F.I.V.E. days in a row of waking to a screeching alarm. Damn. I, my friends, have found the second most fabulous Monday thang, aside from my new fav show, Dancing With The Stars. Snicker if you wish, I love that hokey arse show. Anyway, if the Rumba and Tango aren't your cup-o-tea I might just have another way to make your Monday a little brighter. How bout a spot in the sun? Right on the water's edge of Lake Minnetonka? 6 cold Miller Lite bottles ($.99 each!?!)? Two cheeseburgers with all the fixings ($5 buck-er-roos each!?!)? Valet parking and gratuity? All for 26, "skeeters," or dollars as my DAD calls em. I know! Lord Fletcher's boasts some of the best real estate on the water and top notch people watching. Monday nights they pack em in for the best deal in the west suburbs. Go there, bring your cute spouse and embrace a Monday for once already.

Pay it forward

I'm a firm believer if good karma. Pay it forward whenever you have the opportunity and you'll reap the benes in the end. I'm not talking about hours upon hours of community service (although some of that does the heart good too), but I'm really preaching about the little stuff. Like offering to help someone who looks lost in the NYC subway system before they have to ask. Sort of like helping someone with children to carry a heavy bag to their car since they clearly already have their hands full. Exactly like picking up a lost dog walking in the middle of the road before they get hit by a car then calling the number on the tag so they can get home safe (been there done this numerous times). Just like telling a veteran "thanks" for your service and for looking after all of us (Jerrid is sooo good at this). So here's a little example of how it all comes back around. Finally, today we dug out our swimsuits (yikes), packed our lunch, and loaded up the dog for a cruise on the boat (long "o" since I'm a true Midwesterner). What is better than a day on one of the 10,000 lakes when the sun is a shinin' and the thermometer reads 85 degrees? We get to launch, all jazzed and I'm ready to break in my new wet suit. My hubby backs the trailer in like an old pro, I turn the key and... nothing happens. We fiddle-fart with the battery like we know something about motors (not) and then jerk the boat out of the water in frustration. On land we tinker with the bolts and now we see signs the day is not a total bust. Take two, my hubby backs-r-on-down again, I turn the key and we get a little somethin' more, but alas... it still doesn't start. This time we "pop" (you know who you are) the trailer out of the water with tires on fire. This time, barely speaking to one another, we start unpacking all our gear so we can head home with our tails between our legs. Cue the entrance of a true good ole guy. This "MN Nice" stranger asks if we wouldn't mind a little help with trying to get the Glastron started?!? Of course, desperate, we immediately accept. To make an already long story somewhat shorter, he hooks up his spare battery and sends us on our way to "have a good afternoon." He says, "ah, I'm not worried about it, you'll get it back to me sometime." Is that cool or what? This is what I am speaking of people. You do a good deed for a stranger in need and rest easy knowing when "your back needs scratching" good karma will swing back your way. Git! Go on now and spread the good word!

2somes, 3somes or 4somes (depends on the day)!

Surprise! I'm no Tiger Woods. As a matter of fact I just "picked" up the sport in college. Each summer taking lessons from the local North Links Pro, Marc, and since then I have managed to get worse and worse every single summer. I used to "kill" the ball off the T, now I am just happy when I make solid contact (you know-no worm burners and for sure not "topping" the ball"). AND as I get older and begin to not give a rip about some things, I have for some reason developed some golf anxiety. You know, your heart rate soars and your hands get sweaty if the group playing behind you catches up and waits in silence for you to take a big hack with your driver (consider us close since I put this clip on the blog). Every time my Hubby reminds me, "Who cares? You paid the same amount as they did-just golf and have fun!" Easy to say if you have been playing since you could walk and have a 13 handicap! Seriously, we play & he scores a 40 and I score a 68, (on 9 holes people) no wonder I am exhausted. I was swinging away almost twice as much! If I have learned one important lesson in golf AND in life: don't ever try to take lessons from your partner and partners don't even try to give "pointers." I mean this is the sort of thing that breaks up great marriages. My Hubby used to be full of good-golf-wisdom, but soon learned to refrain when I threatened to wrap my club around his neck. He knows keeps his lips zipped... when he can no longer hold back... "Honey, let me know if you want me to tell you what went wrong." Do I have this guy trained or what? The other important tidbit? Be sure and get a cute, pink golf bag. PS Keep you eyes peeled for some pink head covers too-the navy ones just aren't cutting it anymore.

Ok, my blogging two-somes, three-somes and four-somes (get your head out of the gutter) come back tomorrow it's hump day!

Itsy, Bitsy, Teeney, Weenie...

and when I say "weenie" I mean as in yellow polka dot you dirt balls. Well anyway, if you had a chance to snoop around the sidebar of my blog you will see a new feature. I know, no one wants to do it and fur-shur no one wants to utter a word about it. But my vitamin D deficient blogging pals we can no longer avoid the countdown to summer and the dreaded preparation of bikini season. I know. The sun maybe hasn't seen those hard to reach parts since last summer and maybe longer. Before you freak out and decide to sit this one out and just hang in the A/C all summer chill a sec. There's time kids we just need to get our fannies in gear and hit the trails ASAP. We have exactly 73 days from this point forth to do what we have to do to stand a chance against the battle of the winter bulge. I am going to face the battle head on and target the areas on my body that have suffered the most "winter kill." See for me it's the extra in the saddle bag area & the additional junk in the trunk I have been carrying around. I mean I'm no idiot-I'm not gonna hang with Kate Moss by the summer solstice, but getting a bit more lean is totally do-able. So anyway I did a little math (not really my bro-in-law did) and figured working out 5 times a week between today and Summer 1 mean 50 work outs (at which point he said "that sounds terrible"). Whatever, I am always up for a good challenge and I thought if I put it on the blog you might (and I might) hold me to it. Listen, we're not talking lb's here we are talking about the feel good factor which I think is what matters most. So here is my pact to you... I'm gonna work on tightening up my cheeks and ironing out my dimples (not on my face you nerd-farther south) and when I do I'm gonna find some cute lifeguard-type and perform this "chest stand" like in the photo instead of my typical keg stand (another blog post). (PS I have no idea who the goof balls are in this keg stand photo, but I think this chick's form is a perfect 10)

See all you toned and tanned bloggers tomorrow (and you pale and ones too).