We. Got. Skunked.

Skunk~d (skungk~d) tr.v. Slang.

1. To defeat overwhelmingly, especially by keeping from scoring.

2. To chill your feet atop 15" of ice for 2+ hours and not catch a single gosh damn fish.

It was my first ice fishing expedition. I donned what I thought to be the right apparel (two pair running tights under Columbia Omni-Tech ski pants, two Under Armour shirts under a cotton turtle neck under a Nike performance hoodie, two pair of wool socks under supposedly warm Columbia boots, a fleece lined skull cap and a down jacket to boot) and I was still freakin' chilly. My Hubby drilled all sorts of holes in the thick, hard, ice and tracked water depth and marked fish with this fancy Vexilar technology (the thing that really takes most of the sport out of old school fishing). We set up the Fish Trap (fancy for a bottomless tent), fired up the propane heater and, "jigged," our little-mini-rods in attempt to lure our prey... the crappies. The first hour my toes where a little cold but nothing I couldn't, "play," through in anticipation of the big bite. One hour-20 minutes in I'm getting a little antsy I haven't had so much as a nibble on my line and my piggies are starting to tingle (and speaking of tingle-I gotta pee and there is no way I can drop trou in a snow bank). One hour-40 minutes in our fancy lil heater runs outta juice and I can see my breath in the, "tent," every time I open my mouth to pout and my feet are definitely frozen. One hour-55 minutes my Hubby realizes his Eskimo wife is at her limit and will NEVER come back if a hot shower and perfectly steeped cup of tea is not administered STAT. But anyway, the story is really only sorta funny if you watch my two clips-combined it's a 3 minute time investment-but it's this or some other You Tube crap, so go on... pause the blog music and watch em.

My Hubby is the world's best sport...

...but even a good sport can only be a good sport so long...

The "Honey Hole"

We're movin' up in the world. Who needs a fancy fishin' boat (or always stylish waders) when you can cruise in the comfort of a flat-bottom-john-boat? I mean when we go, we go all out for the style points. Powered by an 8 horse, 2 stroke Merc (why do I know this?), typically used for chasing ducks in the fall, is our trusty vessel when pursuing fish. So here's the deal. It's all about balance on this little cruiser. If all three of us sit on the same side-chances are we may be going for a swim. On calm waters we can open her wide up and fly across the water at about 10 mph (what is that, about 9 knots?). And speaking from experience-each and every fishing excursion comes we a free pair of "sea legs." Guaranteed to keep you rolling over the waves while walking, sitting, or trying to fall asleep. Also, guaranteed is the consistent bite on your hook if you are lucky enough to experience the "honey hole." I am not at liberty to divulge which of the 10,000 we set sail on or the exact map coordinates of this spectacular, secret spot (Catfish-keep your trap shut). What I can tell you is the first time we stumbled (or should I say floundered) upon this hot spot we caught at least 30 fish! All small stuff, pannies, like sunfish and crappies and a bass or two for good measure. I think the secret recipe for this successful fishing trip is this:

1 cute hubby who baits, hooks and takes off fish

1 curious chocolate Labrador Retriever for company

1 bag of Dakota Kid Sunflower Seeds (the BEST in the world-don't bother to argue-anyone headed to SD?)

2 cans of the coldest diet coke you can get your hands on

2 bobbers with "minnerds" as my hubby calls them

1 pink fishing hook for optimal catching pleasure

*It is important to note no little fisheys were hurt in the creating the blog-post-experience. We are a catch and release family.

Gone Fishin'

I am without a doubt a fair weather fisher woman. I don't fish in the rain or gloom and I want to be positioned so when I cast my face is aligned with the sun to catch the most rays. I won't touch a minnow and for-surely not a leechy-peachy to bait my own hook-only a night crawler on certain occasions. I don't know how to tie on my own lure and when it comes to selecting the right Rapala for the right time of day/season/catch of choice I am clueless. I continue to ask questions like "am I reeling too slowly? too fast?" I always tie a towel (pink of course) around my waders cuz I hate touching all the grime that collects on your hook when you drag it through the muck. I won't touch the tippy-toe of my wader in the lake unless my pocket in my bibs is loaded with sunflower seeds and an icy cold one. Are you wonderin' why my hubby would bother "carrying all that girl baggage" to the drink? I think he is just thrilled that he hooked a gal who likes to toss a line in the water. And if we are telling fishin' tales... I think I'm the one who reeled in the "big one" when I got hitched to him. Lord, only knows he holds the virtue of patience-just check out my "Fan Outdoors" interview with my favorite angler. PS Curious about the official weigh in? Three large mouth bass and two perch (both so tiny they were about the size of the crank bait they bit on-little fighters). And of course they were all catch and release (good luck little fellers). PSS tunage dedicated to my great friend and fellow "Grove-r" who is sowing her wild oats this week.